Time parameter for absolute divorce

Once the year-and-a-day is completed and round 2/filing for absolute divorce is accomplished - what is the longest you have ever seen it take to have the final divorce completed? The STBX in question has “held the process hostage” for over 3 years: refused to retain a lawyer, takes months to agree on the smallest items then changes her mind and its back to square one, has torn up many versions of the separation agreement, etc. Her spouse has offered the house, car, very generous chunk of retirement funds, liberal alimony, but there is still no agreement on any aspect of the separation agreement. The house is in both names, he pays for everything, she lives in it with the kids - except when she is out of town or goes through phases of giving him the kids and leaving only to return unexpectedly causing lots of drama and emotional trauma for all involved.

She will have managed to drag out phase one for 3.5 years…what is the longest you have ever seen anyone drag out phase two? And what advice would you have for someonecoming up on the year-and-a-day who has dealt with extreme STBX “antics” all along and wants phase two to be as quick, legally airtight, and drama-free as possible?

If the parties have not settled property and support issues in 3.5 years my guess is that they never will, and a claim should be filed to have the court distribute the property and determine support. Once these claims are filed and pending an absolute divorce can also be filed, (and normally granted within 60 – 90 days) the property and alimony case should take less than a year for the court to resolve.

We are a day away from a year and a day with no progress and no separation agreement. I have heard that if the year and a day comes and goes, the stbx loses the legal footing to demand alimony. Is that true? What are the advantages and disadvantages to the partner who initiated the process to not having anything agreed upon much less signed by the time a year and a day comes and goes?

If a divorce is granted before a claim for alimony or equitable distribution is made, the claims are lost and cannot be filed after divorce. The disadvantage to filing for divorce before settling the property issues is all property goes to the party whose name it is titled in, and joint property then becomes much more difficult to deal with.