I do not believe it’s automatic that the mother gets primary custody. Especially, if the father has been active in the childrens’ lives and wants to retain custody. If either parent requests joint custody it’s possible and even more likely in some areas now that it will be granted. This will, I think, depend on the involvement of the parents, and the ages of the children. I do not believe that the courts would put an infant who is breastfeeding with the father, but he may still have joint custody which would mean that as the child got older, the time with the father would increase.
Reading this Statute on custody, nothing is mentioned about marriage only that the parents:
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No, the custody laws are the same as they would be if the parties had married.
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Helena M. Nevicosi
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In North Carolina, does an unwed mother automatically have custody of her children if she and the father have been living together but separate after a number of years?