I’d like to know what that ratio is as well.
I don’t know the statistics for North Carolina, but nationally, women receive custody about 80% of the time according to an Univeristy of Arizona study. They also found that of all men who have been ordered to pay child support, only 5% of them would fall under the description of “deadbeat dads”, but the press and Family Court would have you believe differently.
What are some of the main factors considered when determining who should get primary custody?
In North Carolina, custody is determined based on the “best interest of the child.” Unfortunately, every judge has their own idea of what is in the “best interest of the child.” Far too many judges believe that (unless the mother doesn’t care or is abusive) children belong with their mothers.
My judge saw that my ex-wife had mental problems and that I was a good father, but turned around and awarded my ex primary custody anyway. She based her decision on the fact that I work fulltime and cannot devote as much time to childraising.
The way this question was worded, I assume you are the father, not the mother. Here’s what I can tell you.
The questions that were asked in my husband’s custody hearing were who is and has been the primary caregiver, the age of the children(would think that a 1-2 year old daughter has a better chance of ending up with her mother than a 8 year old boy), and whether he and his ex could agree on any type of joint custody. He was also asked about what type of activities he participated in with the children and would he be willing and able to leave work to go pick up the children for appointments, or if the children were sick. More specifically, could he offer to do more for the children than his ex who worked part time. The court is only interested in what is in the best interest for the children. And to be honest, the best interest of the children are to have both parents in their life. Primary custody is just wording. Look it up on the main site.
There are a lot more father’s out there getting custody of their children, especially if the mother leaves (abandoning) her family, or is living a lifestyle that is not suitable for children. Just watch out when this all comes up. Any skeletons in your closet, things that happened with the children while you were still married, can and will come up.
My husband’s ex took his two boys to the beach on vacation a couple of months before they split along with a friend of hers and her two children. The “adult” wanted to go to a bar, but had no one to watch the children and since the oldest was only 11 they took them with them. Left them in the car and took turns going in. The whole time one of the children had a stomach flu and was begging to go home. The left the bar at closing time 2am. He found out about this right as the custody hearing was coming up. Had his children not decided that they didn’t want to live with one parent over the other, he would have gotten custody with all that he had on her. Testimony to prove incidents and her admissions on recorded phone conversations. In the end, he settled with her for joint custody at the children’s request. 50/50 with equal time, and he pays child support.
It says that you only have to prove you would be a the more stable parent, but in truth your attorney will still have to dig up dirt and sling it when it comes time if you truly want your children with you. Fight with everything you have, because you better believe the other attorney will do the same. Best of luck.
Let me guess, you have to work full time to be able to survive after child support is taken out of your check. But, being responsible and making sure that support is paid is held against you when it comes to determining who gets custody.
“Ironic, isn’t it?” - Bugs Bunny
When paying support a fulltime job means a few part-time jobs thrown in here and there just to survive a little.
Greetings. No, there are no statistics that I know of. I do know that more and more fathers are getting joint or primary custody though. Good luck and keep your head up - anything is possible in district court.
Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax
301 McCullough Drive Suite 510
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax
1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.
Unless the woman abandons the kids, physically or sexually abuses them, doesn’t want them, is a prostitute, drug addict, alcoholic, or moves in with a pedophile, she’ll probably be awarded primary custody. Here in NC, the standard used to award custody is “best interest of the child.” Courts usually interpret this to mean that the parent who is, or has been, the kids’ primary caregiver will continue to be the primary caregiver.
In most families, women are the primary caregivers and men are the primary breadwinners. Stereotyped? Perhaps. But that’s just how it is. Courts typically view the emotional/psychological bond that has ostensibly formed between child and primary caregiver as something that must be maintained at all costs. There are exceptions, of course, but they are relatively few.
So, gentlemen, if your financial obligation to your family results in you spending less parenting time with your children than does their mother, you can expect the judge to conclude that your kids need their mother more than they need you. (Don’t worry, though. You most definitely are highly valued for your ability to provide child support.) That, in a nutshell, is why women are overwhelmingly awarded primary custody both here in NC and throughout the United States.
Bravo! Well stated!! Thanks!
Does anyone know the ratio of mothers to fathers in NC that get primary custody of the children in a divorce? I know the mothers get them more often than not but I would like to know the ratio.