More custody

I can tell you that NC is not supposed to be on either the mother nor the father’s side in custody. It’s what’s best for the child. Which is normally to have both parent equally involved in their lives. Normally it is the person who has been the primary caregiver that has the majority of custody but if it can be shown that there is a more stable solution that benefits the child more, then the courts can give custody to whomever presents the best case.
In your scenario I suggest that you document as much as you can about lifestyle, employment, behavior. Record phone conversations. Get as much “ammunition” as you can. You may never need it but…
Your job in court is to show the court why it would be in the child’s best interest to reside with you. It’s not your job to show her to be a bad mother, though if she is that will come out…It’s your job to show that you are a good father. Take photos of her room at your home, the area that you live in (where she will be playing) and document the care you have provided with getting medical attention due to mother’s refusal. Document the location of the school she would be attending and a schedule for pick up/drop off and afterschool care. Anything that you have that can show that you can provide a more stable environment is better.

Custody is decided based on the best interests of the child, regardless of the sex of the parent. Because the court has already made a determination of custody in your case, you will need to prove that there has been a substantial change in circumstances that justify a change in the custodial situation. Based on the few facts that you posted, it sounds as if there may be a change.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.

I went through mediation with my child’s mother (never married) and we had to settle because I ran out of money. I went from having my child four days every week to one day a week and every other weekend. I am getting things together to go back to court. I have had problems with the mother refusing medical care to the child so I have taken over that aspect even though I am really not supposed to. The mother has also been fired from her job and now refuses to work. She and the child live with the grandmother and she pays no bills. She openly admits that she is a lesbian now and that she spends the child support money on tattos and partying. She doesn’t go to school, she doesn’t do anything to make a better life for the child. I am married and my wife has a child. We really want to provide a stable life where my child is well taken care of. Is any of this information that I have provided grounds for us to be able to get more custody or are judges, in general, more likely to be on the mothers side?