Unwed mother and visitation


#1

Currently my child’s father’s name is not listed on the BC, there is no child support order nor custody / visistation agreement nor has he legitimized him. He was absent for the most part of our son’s first few years of his life, but now has seen him on a rather consistent basis for a few hours each visit with me present. He now wants to take him alone places. Would this be wise of me to allow him to go? The father has been late to a few visits (arrived at one telling me he was late because he was drinking) and has mentioned “I’m just going to take off with you…” to our child. I worry that if he was to take off with him, a police officer wouldn’t get involved. But I also worry that if (when) we do eventually go to court over visitation/custody a judge would view me as interferring with visitation by not allowing him to take our son alone. I feel no matter what choice I make I could be in trouble.


#2

Without any serious concerns, not allowing him to take his child without supervision may be looked at poorly by the court. If you are really uncomfortable, you should file a claim with the court and get an order in place, but do your best to accommodate visitation in the interim to avoid scrutiny by the court.


#3

That was my thought (being looked at poorly). My fear is him getting primary physical custody of our child if we were to go to court because I was “limiting” his time. However, I have been told by an attorney that due to his lack of involvement the first few years, lack of involvment in the day-to-day care of our child, etc; a judge likely would just give him visitation on an every other weekend schedule.

I do have some concerns – him mentioning taking off with our child, the fact he physically harmed me during our relationship (there is no evidence of this, but I doubt he would deny it), him pushing our child in the swing too high and him falling out during one visit… I just don’t know if that is enough to warrant my actions.

I also have been told that until he legitimizes the child, he would have a tough time getting primary physcial custody or any sort of visitation.

I guess my question would be-- is it up to me to go to the court and get a visitation arrangement since he has not legitimized the child or initiated anything of the sort? We have come up with an agreement ourselves, how can we get this into a legally binding document? Also, if this was to go to court, could I lose primiary physical custody due to my “limits” of his time before a court ordered child visitation agreement was even entered into?

Thank you for your time and your response!


#4

A lot of your questions are outside of the scope of this forum as it is impossible for me to give detailed analysis on the facts of your case without a full consultation. You do not have an obligation to file suit to give him visitation rights, but I stand by my previous analysis that without any serious concerns, not allowing him to take his child without supervision may be looked at poorly by the court. That said, if you should consider a consultation to discuss the ongoing issues and your concerns so you can determine a proper course of action.

If you have come to an agreement, and you want to put it in a custody order so it is enforceable by the court, you should consider using Rosen Online. With Rosen Online, we can assist you with drafting forms and answering more complex legal questions that pertain specifically to your case.