Various questions I need answered before filing


#1

Dear shades of sepia:

Greetings. I do not read posts this long generally, but since you are new, and this looks interesting, I will make an exception and answer a couple of the questions:

  1. What does “visiting” mean? If you are not living here, you are not a resident.

  2. You stated “I do not wish to try and track him down, so I don’t know where to have the divorce papers sent when I have them filed” but you need his address or you have to try and track him down prior to serving him by publication. You have to make a good faith effort to find him.

  3. If he files for divorce first, you would need to respond to his divorce claim.

  4. You do not need to come to North Carolina for court in order to be divorced here. Just make sure you hire an expert who knows how to close your divorce and handle the publication issue. The gay issue should never have to come up. Best of luck.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
RosenDivorcecom
919-787-6668

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


#2

Thank you so much for your response. The only reliable address I have that I could have papers sent to would be his father’s home, would that work?
The way the Canadian/US border works for my visits is that I can visit for up to 6 months at a time, but then I have to leave in between visits for at least a week. I don’t work and am supported by my parents and my partner, so, since last September, I’ve visited here for 6 months, then returned home for 3 weeks. I intend to do this until I can immigrate and become a resident of Canada. Until then, I assume I am a resident of North Carolina, since that’s where I return between visits here, where I lived before I came here, and where all my belongings are. Since I can’t consider myself a Canadian resident, only a visitor until I’ve immigrated, I don’t technically live here, but my visits here are extended. Will it be ok that I’d be filing in NC without NC identification?
Thanks again for the help.


#3

Dear shadesofsepia:

Greetings. First, I went and reviewed the law again to make sure I was telling you what was correct. In North Carolina, you must reside here for six months prior to filing for the divorce. For residence, we have a case on point that says you must be physically present in the state and have the intention of making your residence here a permanent and abiding place. Since this definition does not apply to you, any divorce order you obtain may be attacked and held invalid.

Now, service of process by publication requires that you use reasonable means to try to serve him with process another way first. That may mean for you to send service to his father’s to see if he will sign for it.

I would not advise you to file for divorce in North Carolina. Best of luck.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
RosenDivorcecom
919-787-6668

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


#4

Thank you again for the quick reply and information. I’m a bit frustrated though, because if I’m not considered an NC resident, and I’m not considered a Canadian resident, I have no idea how to file. Even if I track down my husband and file in his home state, I still have to provide an address of my home, and if I can’t use this address or my NC address, I’m at a loss as to what to do. I can’t consider myself a resident of any other state, and I need to divorce before I can immigrate here and be a resident of this country. How does a person file for divorce if they don’t have a home state?
I appreciate the research you put into your advice though, I’m glad I was able to receive consultation before filing. If you have any further suggestions, that would be great.

Thank you.


#5

Dear shadesofsepia:

Is sepia a color? I don’t remember it in my box of crayons? Anyway, you will need to file where he is a resident. You can use either address, as your residency won’t be an issue. You must first meet the residency requirements in NC, which state that ONE PARTY must be a resident for more than six months. Sorry to frustrate you.

My suggestion is to hire an attorney where he lives (where you think he lives). They can file for you. You may even want to pay a PI to track him down to be sure. I think it would be worth the cost to you, since you need to divorce. Or, you could come to NC for six months and stay here. Best of luck.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
RosenDivorcecom
919-787-6668

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


#6

Yep, sepia is a crayon color, in one of the bigger boxes of crayola. I like it because I love sepia tinted pictures.
So, just to verify. If I file in the state he lives in, I can use a NC address as my home address because I’m not filing in NC, so I don’t have to meet the residency requirements? I’ve pretty much resigned myself to tracking him down and filing in his state, I just want to make sure I can use my NC address when I file.
Thanks again for your help, I’m very grateful for it.


#7

Dear shadesofsepia:

You will need the use the address where you are receiving mail, so that you can get any Answer he may file, and you will also need to confirm this with an attorney in the state you file in. Best of luck.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
RosenDivorcecom
919-787-6668

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


#8

I’ve been a North Carolina residant since September, 2002. I was married May 17th, 2003 in NC, and seperated June 1st, 2003. I have a few questions about my divorce that I need answered so I know how to go about it.
I’ve been visiting with my new parter since September, 2003 in Vancouver, Canada. We’re a gay couple and I need to spend as much time as possible with her before I can apply for residancy in Canada. I’m not a residant of Canada yet, and NC is where I return when the time limit for my visits end here. I do not have an NC drivers license though. I never had it updated from the previous state I lived in (Oregon) because I’d always intended to move back to Oregon. Of course now I don’t, and I never did, but I’m not going to be returning to NC until the Christmas holiday, and I need to obtain my divorce before then. I spoke with an attorney who told me that she could represent me without my being present, but I wanted to make sure that I can be represented as an NC residant without NC identification.
My husband is an alcholic and abusive. He and I were in a platonic relationship and married for financial reasons that I regretted right away. Since seperating, he has began, for lack of a better word, stalking me. I haven’t seen him since September, 2003 and I haven’t spoken to him since February, 2004. Since cutting off contact with him, he’s tried to contact me through email and by harassing my friends and family. My partner came to NC with me in March and our home was broken into while we were away. A dvd player that had belonged to both my husband and myself, and all of my dvds had been stolen, but nothing that belonged to our roommate had been stolen. Of course we strongly suspect that it was my husband who broke in, but no one confronted him about it, as I feel my safest option in this situation is to avoid him entirely. I’ve changed my email address since I stopped speaking to him, and my friends and family are dismissive, but polite with him when he does call or email them, and they don’t offer him any information about me. Because he’s never recieved an angry reaction, his attention has continued and it’s very uncomfortable. My husband has a criminal history of violence and alcohol abuse and he’s very volatile. I have been the victim of his abuse many times (though we were only married for a couple of weeks before our seperation, I’ve known him since 1995 and lived with him since 1997), so I am very interested in communicating directly with him as little as possible.
When we were on speaking terms last summer, he and I drove from NC to the west coast together so that I could visit with my partner in Vancouver (he knew about her and, at the time, accepted my relationship with her and the end of our relationship. I have an avidavit that he signed and had notarized attesting to our seperation.) He intended to live in Oregon, but moved to Vancouver Washington in the fall of 2003. Since I lost contact with him, I do not know where he lives, and he has a problem with lying, so whenever he does offer up information about his life to anyone I know, I assume it’s a lie. I do not wish to try and track him down, so I don’t know where to have the divorce papers sent when I have them filed. Additionally, he continuously tells my family when he calls that he’s filed for divorce, and that the papers will be sent to them in NC (I live with my parents). Of course these papers never show up, but if, for some reason, he does apply for a divorce and I apply seperatly around the same time, how would that work out? Is there a way I can find for sure if he filed or not before I file?
Finally, my husband and I have no children, share no property, and I’m not interested in any sort of financial support from him. We seperated our shared belongings that remain in NC last winter and I have nothing of his. He does have a few of my belongings, some clothing and knick knacks, but I don’t want to fight for them. I understand that my being in a relationship with someone else would make me exempt from recieving alimony anyway. He’s been in relationships with other people too since we were married, but it really doesn’t matter and I really have no interest in anything from him but a divorce. So, even if it does turn out that I’m entitled to any sort of support, I don’t want it. Our divorce was not one of love or tradition. He and I are both gay and we’d been roommates for years and we were married for health benefit reasons that never ended up being put into effect. The marriage should have never happened, and now all I want is to be divorced so that I can be free from him and his abuse, and so that I can go forward with my immigration plans with my partner.
My worries are his instability, my inability to be in NC for another 4 months, but desire to file for divorce immediately, my not having NC identification even though it is my home state, my not knowing where his current residance is, and how I will be treated in the state of NC because I am gay.
If anyone can provide any answers to any of these questions, I’d very much appreciate it. Thank you.