Hello,
I am looking to separate from my husband. We have been married for almost 5 years and have a 3 year old daughter. Since my daughter has been born, I have gained 20 lbs and my husband constantly badgers me about my weight gain, calls me names and constantly shames me. I have complained to him how it is unacceptable and how it will affect our daughter as she gets older. I have decided that it will be better for my emotional health and the long-term health of my daughter if I leave. I have mentioned leaving before, but he always says that I cannot take my daughter with me. However, I absolutely refuse to leave without her. So I have thought about renting an apartment, leaving in with my daughter, then letting him know after the fact. But, I don’t want to be abandoning my marriage. I would like some advice so that I make sure I make the right moves at the right time.
Abandonment only occurs when a spouse leaves without (1) justification, (2) the consent of the other spouse, and (3) the intent to renew cohabitation. A spouse is justified to leave when that spouse cannot continue the marital relationship with safety, health, and self-respect.
Rather than leaving and then telling your husband, sometimes it is better to let him know your intention and to present a custody/visitation schedule (or an entire separation agreement) that you plan to follow upon leaving. Keep in mind that if you leave without notifying your husband and take the child with you, he could file a custody lawsuit against you.
Anna Ayscue
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh
Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.
So I can leave with my daughter as long as I let him know before hand and present a separation agreement?
Yes, you can leave with your daughter beforehand, but it is wise to reach a mutual agreement to separate if possible. The details of the separation, including custody and visitation, can be negotiated and finalized before or after the actual separation occurs.
Anna Ayscue
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh
Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.