What can I do?

Dear Rosalie Punch:

Greetings. First, I am sorry to hear about the abuse you have put up with for so long now. No, the court will not take away your daughter, but you will both probably have a lot of time with her. You cannot force your spouse to move out unless you have a domestic violence order or do a divorce from bed and board action. It appears that lately his tactics are making you scared, and you may be eligible for a domestic violence order, restraining him from coming around you.

Get an attorney and start negotiating a separation agreement with him, but do so through your attorney. Best of luck.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney at Law
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

The hubby and I met 7yrs ago, had a daughter 6yrs ago and got married 4 months after the baby was born. He’s always been a bitter person when it comes to women and marriage, I’m number 3. I thought that once he saw that I really loved him that his attitude might change. During this time, I’ve been told that I’m useless, worthless, a bad mother and wife, nothing I do pleases him for long. He is very critical and judgemental, and drgrades me even in front of the kids.About 3 or so years ago, I went back to school to finish my ADN, with his approval, of course–or so I thought. I worked full time for as long as I could, but if you know anything about nursing school, it can’t last. When my hours reduced, my paychecks were insignificant, even though they paid the bills at that time. I was ridiculed for “always having my nose in a book.” I graduated last year and thought that things would get better since I could work full time again.Last July he gave 5 wk notice to his employer so he could stay at home and do a home study course, which I never saw him work on. He said he could be “Mr. Mom” so I could work nights at the hospital.His employer let him go the next day. He went from “leave me alone, get away from me” to dealing better with the kids, except he told them and everyone else he wanted that he had to take care of the kids because I was never around.When I was home, I slept or was tired from trying to swing between day and night schedules.He lost interest in me as a person and as a wife after we got married and by this time, we might be initmate every month to every 7 months. He continually rejected any attempt I made to spend time together in any manner. This past valentines day he once again rejected me and the next day told me to “just go find someone as horny as you that’ll lay down anytime you want them to” One week later I asked him to leave…I’d had enough ridicule and rejection.He refused and I felt bad putting out my child’s father with no job. I went to see a local attorney who said to 1.Get him in the work force with his own source of income. 2. Get off night shift, go on days so I am an equal care giver. Since he’s been the primary care giver, I’d lose custody of our daughter. 3. Stay with him 6 months so he can’t claim I don’t provide care to the kids. I know we are both fit parents, but he does so much emotional manipulating even to the kids.He does this I hate you don’t leave me thing. I changed jobs to a day shift job and he started a job on 5-10. In the last 3 months, I’ve been called a whore, slut, black widow, a user (only to get through school, which is not true). He smashed his wedding ring a couple of weeks ago with a hammer and said he’d feel better if it was my f’ing head. He tells the kids that in a few weeks when he’s gone and they miss him that it’s “Your mom’s fault” and last night he hated me with all his heart and would like nothing more than to see me burn in a nice firey car crash. This unnerved me since my car had just acted up a couple of days ago–just coincidental, I’m sure. I’ve tried so hard to make this relationship work. He’s told me for years that he wanted his freedom and now I just get more mental cruelty. Would the court really take my daughter? Sometimes I wish he would’ve just hit me because his words feel like a powerful punch…I think enough is enough… Thanks for your time.Rosalie