Dear cocchetti:

Greetings. First, your concerns are valid and very common. Whenever parents have disputes, the first thing they generally worry about is their children’s lives. I am sorry that your ex recently started to dislike you, but since you have a court order for child custody, your ex cannot simply change the status quo without a substantial change in circumstances.

In order for your ex to modify the current visitation arrangements, he would have to file a motion to modify child custody based on a substantial change in circumstances. This change in circumstances must negatively impact the welfare of the minor child.

This is a costly procedure with attorneys, and not something that your ex will likely jump into on a whim. Until he files something with the court, you should continue to parent well and not worry! Best of luck.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


My ex-husband has recently decided that he hates me (even though he doesn’t pay me child support, still lives in nice house that we bought together, has two cars, girlfriend, etc.) and I’m worried that he will try to go to court and change the visitation schedule we have set up for our 4 yr old daughter. Per our separation agreement, which he had incorporated into the divorce decree, I am the primary household and he gets her every Wednesday night and then every other weekend, Friday night thru Monday. He has always wanted more time with her, but I believe, at her age, that she needs one primary residence and not bounce back and forth between our homes. Can he, out of his anger at me, say that I’m not a good mom or something and try to get more visitation? What would he have to do to prove this? I am a very good mom and was always my daughter’s primary caretaker before we split (he had to step up to the plate and actually parent her after we separated). I just don’t want him saying untrue things about me and then getting her based on what he’s said.
Thanks for your advice.