Changing Child Custody


Good day!

My Ex-Wife and I have been divorced for a few years and we currently have joint custody of the kids here in NC. It has gone real well for us once the custody was ruled on in court. We are agreeable when it comes to extra time if one of us schedules a vacation and I have had no reason to complain up to this point. However, she is getting remarried in July and will be moving to Illinois shortly after. At first she said that she wanted to take the kids with her. After several emails, discussions, and talks with the children, she has agreed in an email to leave them here with me for the school year and would like visitations with them for the major holidays and summers. My only concern is that she is a passive aggressive and has talked to the kids about keeping them there in Illinois once she gets there. She also says she wants us to ‘Keep the custody as is’ and go on the good faith that we have done over the last few years. I have told her that I would rather get the custody changed to reflect the changes so it can protect us all. She does not want to go to an attorney.

Do I have a reason for concern and if she is agreeable to sign a change, do I need an attorney, can we draft up our own agreement and sign it and give it to the court, do we need a mediator? What is the best course of action that will protect all of us and can we do it with out going back to court with all the fees?

Thank you for your time,



If you have a court ordered custody schedule then it will have to be modified by a court order. You could likely enter a consent order if you both agree to the change.