I suggest that you two sit down and work out the same schedule every month. Get a calendar and write down his visitation so that it’s set for the entire year. If something comes up, then work around it by a day or two but don’t change the entire schedule for one day.
You both are emotional and defensive about this. Calm down and discuss it with him. What he’s hearing is “No, you can’t have the kids…”. What you are hearing is “You can’t stop me from seeing my kids…”.
If he lives far enough away then he is going to have to realize that you can not pick up and leave with that many children. In those instances, he would need to drive the entire distance to pick up the children and you two schedule a day that you can drive the entire distance to pick them up from the visit. If during the week is better for him, then have him pick them up during the week…providing they are not going to miss school…and you pick them up on the weekend since weekends are better for you.
It’s not a good idea to deny visitations because the children have a cough or runny nose. Unless they are very ill, they can be taken care of and/or medicated whereever they are. (We’ve dealt with this numerous times…)
Get the holidays worked out on a schedule and realize that this will all change when the children begin school. The temporary order can not solve all the differences, so you will need to work together. If you set a schedule then do not plan things for that time. That way you don’t have to cancel things with the family. That time is set aside for them to be with their father and it’s known.
Right now things are probably a little messy if this is a new situation, but it will calm down. Trust that it does get easier and hang in there…