For three years the visitation scheduled agreed upon and placed in a court order has been for 8 hours every other weekend. Even with this minimal time he has not exercised all his time. He now wants to ask the court for every other weekend but the child does not want to go that much. He refuses to even call me to ask to see the child, but instead calls her and then she asks me to go. She is 14 and in the 3 years since he left she has never even spent the night at his house or even longer than a 6 hour period, most of the time it is only about 2 hours. I understand his desire to rebond with his child, but can I ask the court to ease it in slowly so she can adjust.

Your ex will first have to demonstrate that some substantial change in circumstances as occurred which affect the best interest of your daughter, he does not have the right to change the custodial arrangement just because he feels like it.