What age can a child decide who to live with?

I’m concerned because my eleven year old son keeps saying he doesn’t want to go to his Dad’s. I want him to have the best possible relationship with his father because I think that the same sex parent is so important to a child. However, he keeps complaining about not wanting to go there. Mostly because there is so much criticism and pressure. I know first hand the temper that his Dad has. I don’t think he would ever physically harm anyone, I do worry about emotional damage though. I just wish my son would be excited and happy to go there. Anyway, what age can a child decide? Or what should I do? If I say anything to his Dad he thinks I am behind it, and then it gets worse for my son. It would be very hard to prove anything. Just sad for my son.

A child never really gets to decide who he or she lives with as that is a decision left to the discretion of the judge. That said, judges will allow children to testify (usually in chambers) and tell the judge his or her wishes. This testimony goes a long way in helping the judge make a decision if the child is mature and there is good reasoning behind the wishes.