Is it going to far??? Let me say this one time: HELL NO!!!
Believe me when I say that closure means a-lot and being that SHE was the one potentially unfaithful then SHE should be the one to do what it takes to give you what YOU need to manage this. DO NOT let her manipulate her way out of this because I can just about guarantee you the “big bull****” is coming.
Something very, VERY similar happened to me several years ago in that I caught my fiancee coming down the steps of her apartment in panties and a tank-top. I proceeded to find a co-worker in her bed half asleep. She told me that, eventhough they “fooled around” a little bit(kissing and whatnot) they never had sex because he passed out before he could get an erection. She then proceeded to tell ME that they had gone out and had too many beers and that this would have never happened had it not beers for the alcohol.
She fed me the “I just wasn’t in my right mind” BS.
To this day she still denies having sex, but my common sense tells me she still is and has been lying for several years.
In order for me to put this behind me I need to HEAR HER confess.
Good luck my friend, but be warned that if you feel you can never trust her again you’ll be fighting a futile war that will end in a destructive divorce.