What are MY options?


#1

Is it going to far??? Let me say this one time: HELL NO!!!

Believe me when I say that closure means a-lot and being that SHE was the one potentially unfaithful then SHE should be the one to do what it takes to give you what YOU need to manage this. DO NOT let her manipulate her way out of this because I can just about guarantee you the “big bull****” is coming.

Something very, VERY similar happened to me several years ago in that I caught my fiancee coming down the steps of her apartment in panties and a tank-top. I proceeded to find a co-worker in her bed half asleep. She told me that, eventhough they “fooled around” a little bit(kissing and whatnot) they never had sex because he passed out before he could get an erection. She then proceeded to tell ME that they had gone out and had too many beers and that this would have never happened had it not beers for the alcohol.

She fed me the “I just wasn’t in my right mind” BS.

To this day she still denies having sex, but my common sense tells me she still is and has been lying for several years.

In order for me to put this behind me I need to HEAR HER confess.

Good luck my friend, but be warned that if you feel you can never trust her again you’ll be fighting a futile war that will end in a destructive divorce.


#2

Dear MAmodeo & sk_wilson:

Greetings. Having her following by a private investigator is not going to far, but committing a violation of federal wiretapping laws (which you did when you recorded her conversation which you were not a party to) WAS GOING TOO FAR. Best of luck, but please stay on the right side of the law.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney at Law
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 200
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
NCDivorce.com
919-787-6668

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


#3

Mamodea,
I was in that situation too with the man I an divorcing cheated on me and after the girl confronted me that he was sleeping with I confronted himand he denied all of it including bringing her to where I used to work…I stayed because of my baby until he started beating me then I left and when I was 7 months pregnant I moved back in with him long enough to have my baby because he said his insurance would not cover me here in Fla then 20 days after my son was born I left him and filed or divorce.

I understand how you feel!
I felt the same way but I never recorded any phone conversations, but i worked 10p-6a so he would cal her and have a rondezvous with her a walmart or where ever.

quote:
Originally posted by MAmodeo
I've caught her ... after such a long time of being told over & over again that I was just paranoid, that it was all in my head, and that my lack of trust was breaking up our family, i recorded my wife telling another man that she loved him. The actual words were "I Love You Baby". I had always suspected who the man was, a captain in the local police department non-the-less, so I researched his phone number & called his wife so that we could meet & i could play her the tape. She confirmed that she to had suspicisions. We confronted our spouses & all they would ever say was that it was just a close friendship, never physical, never sexual. Does anyone believe that? Well to make a long story short ... my wife said that she'd like us to try to work through this "situation", but I told her that for us to do so that she would need to take a polygraph test so that I would have closure as to the true extent of their relationship. I need the truth ... i know what it really is, but I need to hear the words of admission come from her mouth. I told her that if she refuses the polygraph or fails it that there isn't any way that we can attempt a reconciliation ... is this going too far on my end??

No one wins in divorce only the Lawyers do!


#4

Walmart rendevous - how scandalous!

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney at Law
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 200
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
NCDivorce.com
919-787-6668

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


#5

I’ve caught her … after such a long time of being told over & over again that I was just paranoid, that it was all in my head, and that my lack of trust was breaking up our family, i recorded my wife telling another man that she loved him. The actual words were “I Love You Baby”. I had always suspected who the man was, a captain in the local police department non-the-less, so I researched his phone number & called his wife so that we could meet & i could play her the tape. She confirmed that she to had suspicisions. We confronted our spouses & all they would ever say was that it was just a close friendship, never physical, never sexual. Does anyone believe that? Well to make a long story short … my wife said that she’d like us to try to work through this “situation”, but I told her that for us to do so that she would need to take a polygraph test so that I would have closure as to the true extent of their relationship. I need the truth … i know what it really is, but I need to hear the words of admission come from her mouth. I told her that if she refuses the polygraph or fails it that there isn’t any way that we can attempt a reconciliation … is this going too far on my end??