What are my options


#1

In North Carolina property division is done through equitable distribution. This means that all martial property (property acquired from the time you were married until the day you begin living separate and apart) is divided equitably, presumably 50/50.
If you purchased the home prior to the marriage and the deed designates you as the only record owner you will be able to account for the down payment you made, which was your separate property. Since you have been married for quite some time a large portion of the equity in the home will be considered martial, especially given the information regarding the improvements you have made. These are considered what we call


#2

I have been married to a very verbal abusive husband for 10 1/2 years, I had 3 teenagers at the time that was living with me (now grown)and on their own. I had purchased a home prior to meeting him, and we had refinaced several times. We have not been intimate in probably 6 years.

I knew he came from a very disfunctinal family (father was an alcholic, and very abusive to the kids and mother), and always took his side when my kids would compain (because of his back ground). We have been to counseling, and 2x’s it was reconneded that he go into counseling, (he never has) and usually twists things around to where I am at fault. I can no longer take the mind games he is playing, and the stress of his inability to hold down a job.

Over the past 6 years we have both put money into upgrades, siding; new windows; upgraded kitchen counter tops; and new carpeting. I do not want to just walk out and leave him everything; do to fact, I have 30,000 + in the down payment when I purchased the home 13 years ago. I know on my income I can not afford to buy him out, and I know he cannot aford to buy me out. With the market the way it is no one is buying homes, I heard if one party is abusive they could end up not having anything?

I have been diagnosed with type 2 Diab, and high blood pressure, (3 1/2 year ago) and feel very stongly that my condition is due to stress, his sister had even suggested to me to leave him, but yet as a family they do not associate or even talk, he has 2 children that will not have anything to do with him. Can you help me.