What is the law?

  1. Case still in NC, both parents moved out of state, one parent has moved back to NC after being gone for 2 years, the other parent has child and does not live in NC. How does this work with the custody case when there is not one in hand at the moment but, for the one that was filed almost 3 yrs ago. That order states, the father only has visitation for a certain month and nothing after unless agreed by myself. Does the parent who moved back to NC have the upper hand now? Still trying to figure out a good time for a final custody hearing since I am out of the state and live so far away.

  2. Father had a great job in his home state. He quit his job, did not tell any family members or myself that he was moving back to NC. He did it to fight CS from changing the child support, because since both parties did not live in NC they could not change it. (not an issue to me because he doesn’t pay his support anyhow). He recently found a good job but still remains living with someone. He has been living with either family, friends, or even in dorm rooms since July of 2008. My question is this.

By him moving back to NC and after a month of being there, finds a job, can he get full custody? (Mind you, he does not have his own place and lives with other people).

I have had a stable home since we seperated. I did move out of state at the beginning of this year but did inform him, that I was moving. Is that going to be held against me?

The case should be in the state where the children have lived for the past 6 months. If the father wishes to modify custody he can file a motion to do so, but will have to prove there has been a substantial change in circumstances that affects the best interests of the child, his getting a job on its own will likely not constitute a change in circumstances.

Your move will not constitute a change unless your move makes is current visitation impractical.

Thank you, Erin!

I would like to reply to what you have said. There is no custody order in place but for the temporary order that was done almost 3 years ago. It stated he was only allowed 2 weeks for this month and 2 weeks for the next month only for 2008. The Ex has had visitation a few times after that, for I feel both parents should be in the child life one way or another. We did have a 50/50 meeting spot for him to see his child while he was living in his home state. However, now since he has moved back to NC (for no other reason, except to keep CS the same), it will put a hardship on me. Our child is 4 y/o and I have lived on the west coast for almost a year now. My ex just moved back to NC last month.

----- How will it look with the courts that my ex does not have a stable home life? I worried because my ex doesn’t have a place and is jumping around from friend to friend (girl to girl) home. I feel it is not morally right for a child to be around this. I personally do not care what my ex does with his personal life, but I do care about what is done or how my child is being treated and raised around.

—You stated that custody should be done in the state the child is living. How can that happen when our divorced was done in NC? We still have custody and ED to take care of, which were put in the divorce decree to be heard at a later date. Doesn’t his attorney have to approve the order to be changed here? Can you please explain this to me?

Thank you, and have a wonderful evening.

If the child has been with you for the past 3 years, I do not believe a judge would change custody unless there has been a substantial change in circumstances.
Your ex’s inability to provide stability would certainly not help him get custody.
Custody is determined by the child’s home state. Since everyone left the state of NC, the home state is where you and the child live so long as you have been there for 6 months.


I’m confused about your statement on the 6 month issue. I have a case open and not closed in NC right now, and I am waiting for our custody court date to come up. How can my new state be the home state if the ex moved back to NC a month ago?

In my opinion, NC lost jurisdiction when all parties left the state.

If you’re saying NC lost jurisdiction, then how am I able to bring our case here? We got divorced there but asked the court to hear custody and ED at a later date. It has now been 3 years since I filed for the divorce. How would this work if he has moved back to NC almost 2 months ago?

You need to register your Order in your home state. If and when your ex files a motion to modify you will petition NC to release jurisdiction based on the fact that the children no longer live there, evidence relating to the children’s best interests is more accessible where you now live, and the fact that there was a 2 year period of time when neither party, nor the children were in NC.