Greetings. Whether or not you want to hear it, you need an attorney. You are able to obtain half of his pension, but you will need to have this performed in a Qualified Domestic Relations Order. If he already chose his survivor benefits, that you may not be able to obtain them. I would tell you that you are losing money every day and need to see an attorney to get your funds immediately, despite the initial upfront cost. Also, it sounds like you are entitled to alimony. I know that it may not be what you want to do, but an attorney can approach this in a non-confrontational manner and try to get him to agree to what the law says. Best of luck.
Janet L. Fritts
Attorney at Law
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.