Our divorce was finalized in September. Custody mediation ended in a stalemate and a hearing is forthcoming (not sure when). Now my wife is denying visitation “until I pay some child support”, which has never been addressed or determined but obviously will be. We’ve both "been paying child support) for 16 years as parents. She now has also removed one child from school (3 miles away) to closer to her apartment (2 miles away) saying it was to make sure he was within boundaries for where he attended school. He was and is, here or there. I don’t think the “cost of gas” and zoning arguments are going to impress anyone.
There is no order of any kind regarding either of us and custody, however, in a DVPO she stated I was forbidden from schools, her work,…the normal ridiculous stuff that the boys and I thought was funny. That order expired a week later and a similar order was begun that will expire in one year. But, in the second order anything regarding schools, etc. was omitted. The school says my name is not on the list of authorized persons to pick-up the boys, only hers and an anonymous other. My ex told me that if I tried to pick-up one of our three sons from any of their schools, she had instructed the principals to have me arrested, even though there’s no order saying either one of us have more rights than the other. Just my opinion I guess, but unless I’m missing some important detail, more and more I’m feeling like she’s been advised to set situations that could potentially hurt me and help her, as far as the custody issue is concerned. The money’s a non-issue and regardless of our differences, whenever she gets settled down from all of her “freedom” she’s a good mom. My entire problem with signing-off on everything was the fact that she forces our youngest to go with her to her boyfriend’s, though he doesn’t want to and asks me to help. She’s gone as far as secretly picking him up from my place or neighborhood and then ignoring my requests of if she has him and where are they, all while I knock on 270 doors in the neighborhood. The older two have put their feet down and she doesn’t ask them anymore, although there’s been a new car, money, etc offered to “just give the boyfriend a chance”. I know it’s not illegal, and I told the boys that even so, I’d be arrested and would have to work it out with the judge, not the officers who have a different responsibility than interpretation. Her attitude is why I declined a rather generous divorce settlement. I’m a dad, not a banker. I’ll fight if things are already this bad without an order. I’m sure they wouldn’t get any better after she had her paperwork. Just additional FYI, but the boys are here almost daily, and communication with her is approved for only that purpose. The 16 year old was sited for underage drinking at 0200 in the morning and when he and I discussed it and I asked what mom had said, he told me she had just gotten home. It was 0800. Again, not illegal, but since I cannot afford an attorney, what are my options?