My wife came to me in counseling today and is no longer sleeping at the house. (8 months ago she had an affair and we have been in counseling ever since, now it is over) She is staying with her parents. 3 kids involved, one of which is hers by a previous marriage. Tomorrow her son goes to his dad’s house in another state for the summer. We (she and I) signed a lease agreement to move 2 hours away within the same state at the end of this month and my job relo is in process and we have submitted our 30 day notice to our current landlord to vacate at the end of this month. I want to continue to move to the new location and also want to be the primary home for my 2 children. She has no job no permanent housing solution and no way to provide except for by public assistance. Do I have a favorable advantage based on these facts to become the primary parent in an out of court arrangement (mediation/arbitration)? Can I relocate as planned? She wants me to reconsider my relocation so that we can be in the same city with the children. I do not want the kids to be absent from her, in fact I would love if she was not leaving at all, but if she is set on separation I want to provide the primary home for my children so that they are kept out of government housing conditions.
Dealing with the affair…if we have been in counseling working through the affair, am I responsible for possible alimony? I thought we were making progress in counseling and today in counseling she decides to leave me after this past weekend she disappeared to her sisters house in another state and did not make any arrangements and left me and the kids(left saturday didn’t return until Monday night late). I know that there have been restricted phone numbers showing up on her call logs and suspect that there is some piece of the puzzle I am missing. Please advise! I tried to do the right thing for us and the kids by going through the attempted reconciliation process and now wish I had just divorced her from bed and board 8 months ago. Did I “shoot myself in the foot” by trying to work it out? How does she prove defense of condonement (forgiveness)?
Mediation is successful when both parties agree to a resolution of all issues. Arbitration is much like court, in that a 3rd party makes a decision as to the outcome of the disputed issues.
I would suggest you file suit for custody and prove your case in court as to why you should be the primary caregiver for the children.