I’ve been in a similar situation with my youngest stepson. He is overweight so he has to wear adult size clothing. I’ve tried to sew up the hem of his jeans so that he does not walk on them, make him wear a belt and buy him shirts that actually fit and are good colors for him. His mother on the other hand puts him in shirts that are clearly too big because they come to his knees, baggy jeans that are way too long, ripped up at indecent places, and almost every shirt she buys him is either a bold green, red or has wide horizontal stripes.
My husband and I have discussed this and it’s gotten to the point wear I’ve asked him to change clothes before we go somewhere. My husband originally said that if he wanted to look sloppy then we should let him. My response was that we as adults are the ones who are supposed to care how they look. He’s not supposed to care, he’s a kid. WE have to show him that we care how he looks. I have even quit washing some of the clothes that his mother sends him over in.
Now my other stepson is very picky about his clothing. He’s 13 and has always dressed decently. Doesn’t want clothing too big or sloppy looking and is always aware of how he looks.
What does your husband say about this? Does he also think that she dresses inappropriately?
Here are my suggestions:
If you and your husband agree on this, buy her clothing that will fit properly and look good on her. Don’t give her the option. Don’t take her with you shopping. If she is determined to only go to those two stores, then let her mother buy her clothing there.
When you buy her clothing, make sure that you hang on to tags and receipts and if she destroys clothing that you buy to make it more in fashion then have her learn how to appreciate the value of a dollar…
If it will not cause problems between you and your husband, put your foot down. Do not allow her to wear that clothing when she is with you. This will likely turn her into a true teenager and put her in that “You’re ruining my life” phase…but that’s what parents/stepparents are for right?
I’ve commented to my husband that I wished having a belly had been fashionable when I was growing up…I’m constantly trying to hide the weight I’ve put on in the last couple of years and it makes me feel better to know that girls are not under that pressure anymore. BUT in the same aspect, the sight of a girl with a belly wearing a shirt that is 2 sizes too small or a white tank top and a blue bra, makes me cringe. I have to keep in mind what I wore while growing up, how far I tried to push the limits my parents set. But I also remember my father making me changes clothes before we would leave the house.
If you and your husband are in agreement on this, please do what you feel is right and appropriate.