16 yr old in trouble


#1

I am a single mom who has been divorced since 2008. I have primary custody of 4 boys.( 2 have aged out ) and the other 2 are 13 and 16. Prior to divorce I went to trial and was granted a domestic violence order of protection for 1 year and never renewed after divorce was finalized.I thought I was safe for my ex remarried immediately. However my ex since since then has always been mentally abusive. I actually went back for a protective order but it was not granted because he didn’t actually threaten harm to me. The mental abuse started out with me and when no longer effective has now been brought upon the children in an effort to hurt me. My ex has literally put in emails to me how he has sat down the children and told the children things about me that were not true.( we have an agreement stating that we cannot say negative things about one another ) Now my 16 yr old boy who stated to me that his dad told him terrible things recently is spiraling out of control . He is failing all classes and being rebellious towards teachers. He gets detention weekly. While attempting to talk with my son , he has told me that he has lost all trust and doesn’t know who to believe. I have involved school counselors and reached out to his dad letting him know what is happening. His dad has not been supportive. I tried to provide consequences to my son for his actions in school but in retaliation he calls his dad and his dad instructs him not to listen to me. I have given his dad the option of taking my son in since my son has basically resorted to bullying me and I can no longer control what he is doing with his father supporting his actions. His father told him no. I called a counselor and my son refuses to see him. My son has run away in the past and my ex mother in law has picked him up and hid him from me to the point where I had to involve law enforcement to get him back. As of yesterday when I tried to take my sons phone away he called his dad and put him on speaker phone in which his dad berated me and told him I was not allowed to take my sons phone. He was screaming all kinds of false things through the phone. At that point I gave my ex the option of picking up the phone himself or me having to get the police involved. My ex said he wouldn’t and he then instructed my son not to hand it over since I don’t pay for it. He then told my son he needed to look into emancipation. I did get the police involved to retrieve my sons phone. My son is so angry and even more disrespectful and telling me his father will be getting his attorney to get him emancipated. I am devastated and do not know what to do at this point.


#2

I don’t see a specific question in your post, so I’m not sure how to respond.