Married 12 years

401-K is in his name. Right at $150k in it right now. Value when we married around $30k. I have no retirement plan.

House Valued around $120k. Owe $100k. He will keep the house.

He does not have the credit nor the equity to “buy me out” with a loan of some sort. His 401-k does not allow (company policy) any withdrawls. I was told there might be a law that regulates this that allows me to be assigned part of the 401-k and I can pull it out because it would be considered mine under the Courts.

What are mine and his options for this situation? I’m a legal assistant and we are trying to do this on our own instead of hiring attorneys. We are very civil towards each other and wish no one ill will because we have a wonderful son together.

Also, does cheating on his or my part affect equitable distribution?


There is a document called a qualified domestic relations order which would be filed with the court and will tell the holder of the 401(k) how to split the account.

There are many factors that are taken into consideration for equitable distribution (see statute 50-20), and there is a catchall phrase, but adultery in my experience, adultery is not usually considered by the court. This may be a reason for you to seek a better settlement agreement though.