In so far as the action that lies between your and your husband his infidelity will be a factor in determining alimony if you are a dependant spouse. The statute states that a supporting spouse who commits adultery shall pay alimony.
You will need to file a lawsuit for child custody, child support, alimony, post separation support ( temporary alimony) and equitable distribution of the martial estate. I would recommend that you meet with an attorney in the near future to develop an action plan, you may even be entitled to have the courts order your husband to pay a portion of your attorney’s fees.
You may also want to consider filing suit against his paramour to seek money damages from her.
There are actually two claims of action you could pursue against your ex’s paramour, the first being criminal conversation. North Carolina will have jurisdiction over the claim if the illicit sexual behavior took place within this state. To have a chance at successfully pursuing this action you will need to prove:
This woman and your and spouse engaged in an adulterous relationship during your marriage;
To be awarded compensatory damages: you will need to prove your ex’s paramour’s wrongful and malicious conduct proximately damaged you by casting dishonor on the marriage bed, alienating the affections of your spouse and that she destroyed the domestic comfort, causing loss of consortium (sexual relations), loss of support, including present and future earnings of your spouse, emotional distress. The costs of litigation can also be included, including attorney’s fees.
To be awarded punitive damages you must prove that her conduct was willful, malicious, wanton, and oppressive.
The second cause of action under which you can proceed is alienation of affection. To successfully pursue this action you will need to prove:
That you and your spouse were happily married and a genuine love and affection existed between you;
That his paramour’s actions were a contributing factor that caused his the alienation of his affections for you;
She was aware that her actions would likely cause your spouse to alienate his or affections from you;
To be awarded compensatory damages you must prove that her conduct proximately resulted in your loss of services in the home, loss of support, including present and future earnings your spouse, loss of consortium (sexual relations),emotional distress and/or injury to your reputation. Compensatory damages may also include the costs of litigation, including attorney’s fees for both the Alienation or Criminal conversation action.
To be awarded punitive damages the requirements are the same as listed above.