Alimony/alienation/criminal conversation


My question is, what do you want? If revenge, then it is not worth it. I know that doesn’t answer your question.

Even if you had all the proof in the world what would that get you?

I speak from experience.


I would have to agree. As painful as this situation is, spending all that money for the satisfaction of being the one to make them pay is just not worth it. I also speak from experience and can tell you that everything does eventually come back around.

To answer your questions: The courts can use photos and eyewitness of his vehicle being at her residence or her vehicle being at his overnight, confessions, e-mails & photos of acts…
I’m not sure that you could request alimony since your incomes are the same but I may be wrong since there’s been marital fault, providing that you have not condoned the relationship (had sex with him since having knowledge of the affair).
I believe that if the acts occured in NC you can sue her here for alienation of affection. Criminal Conversation/adultery is a matter for the district attorney. I can say that from what I’ve read, it is a misdemeanor and is rarely prosecuted.
My suggestion is to consult an attorney, find out if you can request alimony, get a separation agreement, file for equitable distribution and take care of yourself. Get enough sleep, eat whether you want to or not, and go to work…pay your bills. Eventually you may end up like I was and be grateful to the other woman for taking that problem man off your hands. Hang in there.


stepmother said it much better than I. I also did not answer you question fully. In NC, if the spouse is the one that commits marital fault and they make more money than the other spouse then they will probably have to pay alimony. If the dependent spouse is the one that commits fault then they do not get alimony.

Proof is and issue. As stepmother says, almost anything can be used as proof. People in affairs are addicted to the relationship. Addicts have a hard time hiding their habits. Keep your eyes open, keep your head. Get a voice recorder, put logging software on your computer if you share one. Listen more, talk less.

An important note: If you know about the affair and he knows you know about the affair and you let it continue, that means you have have given your acceptance to it. This is an important point. Do not sleep with him. That is an act of condoning the affair. That was my attorney’s advice to me.


In order to sue her for Alienation of Affection and criminal conversation you have to prove that you had a happy marriage and that if it had not been for the influence of this person you would have continued to have a happy marriage. You will need evidence not only of the nature of their relationship, but also evidence as to the status of your relationship before and after he met her.

You can sue her even though she lives in SC.

P.S. Please feel free to bring up this or any other topic on our live call-in show every Wednesday at 11:00 a.m. EST. Visit for details

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

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Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780


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My husband has been having an affair for the past two years. He works with her in North Carolina, but she lives in South Carolina. I have proof of the affair, but what proof does the courts need in order to prove adultery? Our incomes are on the same level, so what if I am not a dependent wife? Does that mean that he just gets away with commenting adultery and nothing can be done to him? Also can I sue the female since she actually lives in another state? We live on the border of North/South Carolina.