? about Overnight stays and bedtime

We have a similarly uncommon part of our decree:

My husband’s separation/divorce decree states that the child will reserve the names “Mommy” and “Daddy” for only the biological parents, and can not call anyone else that. I thought that was a very interesting and unusual stipulation, as well.

From my layman’s understanding, whatever goes into a decree MUST be followed, and if she wants to fight it then she’ll need to go back to court. Otherwise, it’s contempt.
I will be interested to see the answer to this question from an attorney.

My wife and her ex have wording like this in their custody agreement. Her ex simply ignores it. Our attorney says that such behavior is contempt, but you have to have proof. The kind of proof you need requires hiring a P.I. Even if you get the proof, most judges will only issue warnings for the first couple of violations (3 strikes before you’re out).

My husband’s separation agreement said much the same thing and his ex ignored it also. The trick she had was not ever letting the children know that her boyfriend spent the night. The one time I drove by on my way to work and his car was there…she said that he had moved in with the neighbor and it was easier for him to park in her driveway. It did no good to fight about it. When we went to court, she was asked on the stand if he went on vacation with her and the children for a week to the beach and was asked where he stayed since their separation said that and she told everyone in the courtroom, under oath that he slept in the car. The children told us that he was in the house when they went to sleep and in the house when they woke up. They said that they were told he slept in the car but they never actually saw him. Some women just do not care what type of influence they are showing their children and you can’t force morals on anyone. What you can do is to follow the agreement on your end of it and hope that your child/children see that this is the right way to live. The only thing you can really do is “threaten” to have her followed. Tell her that the child/children better not know about it and that if you catch her, she will not get custody. You have to remember that until the divorce is final, she is still your wife and that is considered adultery, and criminal conversation. It may not do any good and it may not change anything, but at least you will have made an effort to protect your child/children from this type of influence.
Good luck and keep us posted!

Dear betrayedHB:

Greetings. What is WW? If the agreement has that provision in it, it is enforceable if you can prove what the children’s bedtime is and that someone is staying overnight while she has the children. Good luck.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

301 McCullough Drive Suite 510
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

My lawyer included in my Sep. Agr. that neither parent would allow overnight stays by opposite sex and that they had to be gone by bedtime. Does anyone know anythings about this rule. MY WW does agree to that says she can have anyone she wants stay with her because we are no longer together. Is this worth the money to fight for. Please advise