By our separation agreement I have to make monthly payments to my stbx. I have been sending the payments to our former home. She sold that home and has moved to an apartment. She has not told me the address and instructed the children not to tell me. I do know where she works but not the address. Is it contingent upon to track down her address or request where she wants the payment sent? Thanks.


** I’m not a lawyer, just speaking from what my own experiences and research have taught me **

I would call her, and record the conversation (you don’t even have to tell her it’s recorded as long as both of you are in NC), and let her know that you need an address to send the check to. If she gives you one, that’s great, if not, let her know you are not going to be able to send it until she does. In the meantime, I would take that money and set it aside in a separate account, depositing it on the same schedule and amount you would otherwise be paying it to her. That way, if she later tries to make an arguement that you stopped paying her, you’ll have the phone call of you requesting the address, and you’ll have the account history to show that you’ve been setting it aside, but have been unable to pay due to her unwillingness to give you a proper address to send it. I would definitely not just stop paying and then spend the money… because if you’re later ordered to pay it you’re going to want to still have it around; plus in my mind it would look questionable if you just up and spent it.

Good luck to you.


Send the checks to her attention at her place of work. You can send it by registered mail if you prefer.