Receiving money from soon to be ex


Let me clarify we are not legally seperated or divorced, She just vanished, I am trying to get a seperation but cannot find her, She sent me a check to ‘help out’, If I cash it is it community property still. It is not drawn on our joint acct but her new one. She is not allowed back due to the DSS, because of her violence. I am afraid she will say I drove wherever she is and wrote a check that I don’t and didnot know about and stole it, she is very mentally unstable. I would have preferred a money order, but have no way to contact her, I hope that clrifies things.


NC does not have a status as “legally separated”. You are separated the day that you begin living separate and apart from one another. Now a separation agreement can be drawn up stating the date of separation, which would be the date she left the marital home, and in that you could list the property distribution, such as who stays in the marital home and who gets any vehicles you have, so that everything is settled when the one year one day waiting time is up to file for absolute divorce.

If she has written you a check to “help out” then that could be looked at by the courts as her willingness to pay post separation support or alimony. It is not marital property because you are no longer living as a married couple. You could legitimately put into a separation agreement that she pay you this same amount every month. But a separation agreement is just that, an agreement, meaning that she does not have to sign it or agree to it.
The previous poster suggested making a copy of the check before cashing and that sounds like good back up to her making any claim that the check was not written by her to you. Keep a copy of anything sent to you and document any conversations or events.


I also suggest that you change the locks on your home. Since she has left and is residing elsewhere, legally, you are allowed to change the locks and inform her that she is not to come to the home without your permission or invitation.
With the DSS issues you’ve put in other posts, I believe that this would be in your best interest if you have not already done so.