Need immediate help!


#1

Okay, I’m going to try and keep this as short as I possibly can.

My wife and I have been married since December 28, 2008. I am 22, she is 21. We are not seeing eye to eye, and things have been very bad for a long time now. I am now wanting out of this marriage, safely. She is not aware yet, mearly because I want to learn my legal rights first. I was just medically retired out of the Army, getting a disability payment for the rest of my life. I also recieved a severance package (7900 dollars roughly). I am just curious to see, is she legally entitled to this disability, and/or severance? I’m sure she will come to an agreement to split the money evenly (roughly 18,000 dollars in our bank) but I just want to protect myself, because her mother and herself have been very decieving lately.

Also, I plan on moving to Florida with my family as soon as humanly possible, mainly because I have NO family/friends/work here. Would I still be able to file, and go through the whole divorce process from Florida? If so, how do I go about filing? I have recently just moved from Washington State (within 1.5 months) so I don’t know the NC laws. I have had many “friends” tell me, to watch out because they could see her taking all of the money out of the bank and saying she spent it on whatever. If this happens, is this legal? What can I do to protect myself from this? I would hate to check my bank account and the 18,000 that I mainly earned gone, and used on some fake “purchase” and I’m left with nothing!

I don’t want anything out of this divorce, except my money, clothes, and peace of mind. She can have the dogs, furniture, etc.

Help as soon as possible would be great, I am wanting to leave this house ASAP and safeguard my money just as fast!

edit:: also, I have been reading a lot about alimony. Will I have to give her alimony? We both have worked equally, and we’ve been married less than three years.


#2

Your disability is income, and she is not entitled to a portion of that after you separate, unless she has a claim for spousal support, in which case your income would be considered as part of your ability to pay. She would be entitled to alimony if she is a dependent spouse (that she is actually and substantially dependent on your income to maintain her standard of living enjoyed during the marriage).

The divorce its self would take place in NC. If you reach an agreement prior to time for divorce, you can move to FLA and have everything taken care of from there. If you two cannot reach an agreement and have to go to court on issues of support and property division, that would take place in NC and you would need to be present for hearings in NC.

You may take the money out of the joint account and place into one in your sole name pending an agreement.


#3

Okay well I highly doubt I’d have to give her alimony then, she is working now, and I am not. So if anything, I am dependent on her. How do I go about getting a seperation agreement? I saw the one on your website, but it has a spot for alimony, child support etc. We don’t have children.

Also, would I just split the money evenly? From our joint account? And is she entitled to my disability severance? It was a lump sum (I looked it up last night in our bank and it’s apprx 8500) What about our taxes? She owed money, and I got a big return, this is split?

Thanks a lot for the fast response!


#4

You can use the sample agreement as a template and can remove the provisions that are not applicable to your situation. You may split the money in anyway you two can agree to do so, the same goes for taxes.


#5

If I did the seperation agreement here, and then moved to Florida, could I file in Florida? I don’t know their laws, but would that be possible?


#6

FLA will not have jurisdiction over your spouse as she will still be in NC.


#7

I’m just curious how my friends have moved to other states, and have been able to file for divorce there? So, what happens if somebody is incapable of coming to the spouse’s state? They just stayed married?


#8

No, often times the process can be completed by mail.


#9

I know this is an old posting, but I was coming here to get some clarification. My wife and I split not too long ago, she 100% refused to sign a seperation agreement. She left the house one night and took everything, she took about 10,000 dollars out of the bank, she attempted to steal over 500 military documents from me. As a safety precaution I called the police so it could be on record that she was vacating the premises etc.

Since then I moved to Florida, I opened all new bank accounts in my name and I’m trying to get started on my own… Does NC have a dating clause? I don’t plan on going out and having sexual relations, but am I allowed to socialize with women? I get nervous because I don’t want to go to jail for adultery. Also, once I become a Florida resident (in about 4 months) will I be able to file for divorce via Florida?

I simply want this marriage to be over with so I can start my life. She still sends me multiple emails weekly asking to work things out. I just want to be left alone. I gave her everything, the car, the dogs, the apartment, the money, everything. I really just need to find out the easiest way to get out of this whole situation. I know it’s not easy, but I am willing to do whatever.

Thanks for all the help!


#10

You may socialize with whomever you chose.
I do not know the residency requirements for filing divorce in FLA.


#11

I also left NC and moved to FL when I left my ex, and the residency requirement in FL is 6 months to file for divorce.

If there is nothing to divide (meaning you’re not asking for anything that she took), and there is nothing else that needs to be addressed in equitable distribution, and no children, it should be a very straightforward divorce, and can be completed rather quickly. If she does not reply to the divorce papers within 20 days, she can be defaulted (like my ex was) and then she would lose her right to ask for anything (asset-wise) in the divorce. So, if you don’t have anything to divide, you would just fill out the papers and state that there are no assets/debts to divide, and no minor children, and it should be rather easy to complete…shouldn’t need mediation or anything like that, and the divorce should be able to be completed within about 30 days of either filing or default (I forget which).

***I am not a lawyer, just someone who has gone through filing divorce in FL…very recently.