I got served with separation papers last night which are asking me to put my life insurance in my soon to ex wifes name…(i changed mine cause she changed hers) she wants 500.00 a month in debt that she says I owe her over the course of our marriage, that I leave (move out)of the house and get nothing… she gets the home… I have 30 days to move 20 years of my stuff or she can dispose of it. and my daughter who is 15 is not allowed to come to my mothers where Im going to have to live because my mom might have Alzheimers. Im still at home. I have no money …I lost my business and now I work at walmart making 800 a month I am calling legal aid to help me. I was going to give her everything…house etc, but now she is taking my child from me…I really dont know what I am asking but can she and her lawyer leave me to live on 100.00 a month? Ive done nothing wrong but be a husband who was a house husband…I raised the kids, I took them to and from school. I cleaned cooked and basically was a house wife while my wife worked which was out agreement now I have nothing. I want to leave because Im being verbally abused…Im nothing more than a loser in her eyes even though I raised our daughters while she worked…
DO NOT SIGN ANYTHING. IF YOU SIGN OUT OF DESPERATION, YOU ARE BOUND BY THAT AGREEMENT (I can’t stress that enough). I find that most times…people ask for WAY more than they would be awarded simply to see if the ex will bite or to intimidate them. Don’t fall for it.
She can’t make you leave. I know you want to leave because of the verbal abuse, but she can’t kick you to the curb.
If you want to leave, then you can leave. She can’t keep your child from you. I’m not sure about the Alzheimers issue, but I wouldn’t worry about that.
If you do decide to leave, you’ll need to take all your things at that time especially if you don’t have a reasonable agreement in place.
Also, you have rights to 50% of the equity in the house, you’re liable for 1/2 the debt and you have the right to 1/2 of personal property and other assets.
Why don’t you draft YOUR own agreement on what you’re 100% willing to live with. See if she goes for that. If she tries to keep your daughter from you, then you need to make a claim for custody/visitation.
I just want to leave I cant stand what she is doing I dont even know her anymore. since she had both ovaries removed she is evil…I cant think of anything else to say about her. I dont understand why she is doing this Ive done nothing wrong. I did find a married man sent her a text about oral sex but she said I have no idea how to retrieve text. but yet he is number 1 and number 2 on her phone and i forgot to add that in the agreement she can move in anyone she wants. I use to make over 150 thousand a year and now I work at walmart. I know its about money it just sucks that if I made good money I wouldnt be in this situation…I thought marriage was for better or worse
Things are clearer now. MY OPINION is that she wants you out to move this man in. Why else would she have that wording in her agreement.
I stand by my advice. Do NOT sign anything. If she wants a separation, then she needs to leave. And she can leave her daughter with you.
I know you’re down because of this bump in the road with your career. Things WILL get better. Money is money…it doesn’t make you happy. It helps with the bills, but it doesn’t make you happy. Your happiness comes from being in a healthy state of mind and having time with your daughter.
You’re willing to give it all up to your wife just to get out of a situation. Once the emotional stuff passes, I feel you will regret any hasty choices you make now…as well as anything you sign that you are not 100% comfortable with.
I agree 100% with what comingclean2 said. DO NOT SIGN ANYTHING WITHOUT HAVING AN ATTORNEY REVIEW IT FIRST. Do not leave the home, and do not let her bully you into accepting an agreement that isn’t in your best interests. You are liable for 1/2 the debt, and have rights to 1/2 the assets. She cannot remove you from the house and you do not have to put your life insurance in her name.
If your wife made/makes more than you do, you may be eligible to receive alimony from her. If she’s been having an affair, she will have to pay it.
Whatever you do, do not sign an agreement giving in because you think it will make the stress go away. It won’t. It’ll just make it worse over the long haul, especially if you agree to terms you cannot meet.
I’m sorry this has happened to you, but please don’t give up…for the sake of your children, don’t give up, don’t give in to threats.