I need help please


You need to get a lawyer ASAP.

but what if i don’t have any money for a lawyer because i pay so much in child support?

also, do lawyers ever agree to take your case with payments being agreeable with a lump sum at the end of the case? I cannot afford $2500 - 4000 for a lawyer to take my case because I pay $750 month in child support. If I win my case however, then yes I would be able to…but that’s not helping me now. I really need some help…

anyone have any advice?

First thing go talk to a attorney and let them decided, don’t go to a law firm go to private attorney they are more likley to work with you(they are more flexable), check with child support agency and see if she has submitted a forward address for the payments because I doubt if she has left a $750 a month payment behind. Stop, Think take 1 step at a Time, you can investigate the situation yourself.Are they taking the money directly out of your checks.

I am so sorry about what has happened, but she has exercised her right to take the children because there is nothing in writing stopping her. However, I would pay the $200 consultation fee and talk to an attorney–or, at least, go to your county’s DSS office and ask them what the deal is. They have to help EVERYONE, not just those citizens with vaginas.

No, they don’t pull the money out of my check. I still pay them. I contacted the state and they told me (of course) that I still have to pay because I’m still in the court jurisdiction. I don’t really have the money for a lawyer, so at the moment I am contemplating filing for custody myself. The only thing I have a problem with so far is the custody complaint because there isn’t a set format for NC on how to do this. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Here’s your choice. This is a difficult, interstate problem that may or may not end well for you. If you gain full custody, then your child support will end. Suppose your kids are 5 and 7, so together they have 24 years of support coming (13 years for one and 11 for the other); if your total obligation is $800, then that’s $400 apiece. Twenty-four years = 288 months. 288 x 400 = $115,200.

Still don’t have $2000 for an attorney?

Sounds great on paper with the monthly savings (I pay $750/month), but however that doesn’t really help me to retain a lawyer who requires full payment before filing the paperwork. I can’t stop paying my child support until I get custody of my kids, so in the meantime I’m stuck. I can’t get a loan either because my wife jacked up my credit by turning in a vehicle that we had together because she didn’t want it anymore. Now my score is too low to qualify for a loan.

I am thinking about going it alone, however. I have all the forms filled out but still working on the custody complaint as there is no NC format for that. Does anyone have any input on that?

Yes–you don’t have to pay ANYONE a retainer just to ask for some advice. A couple hundred bucks will at least give you an idea if you are heading in the right direction or not. Why not check with the American Bar Association and see if there are any attorneys in your area that are willing to work on a discounted basis for folks in your situation?

does anyone have any format or example they could send me on the custody complaint?

does anyone have any help for me???

Heres a suggestion, stop pay your support, instead of sending them the money send it to a bank with you and your kids name on the account and when the agency contact you, you can let them know what the situation is,plus she will probably contact you or have you served with court papers (thats can be a good thing) then you go to court a explain to the Judge what has happened and he might deal with the issue at that time but you will more than likley have to pay her the money that you haven’t been paying but you will have it at the bank.

I have to agree with fatherdoright. I really do appreciate your situation and the lack of money, because I can’t afford anything either–but if it meant getting my kids away from a potentially dangerous spouse, I’d live in a box to do it. If you want to do it the cheap way go to the courthouse and ask the clerk of court for a motion to change the custody order. If there is a support order and she is receiving the money then she HAS to be the primary custodian, doesn’t that make sense???

Yes that makes sense, however I thought that because the children are living with her under our verbal agreement and the court ordered child support to her, it was ASSUMED primary custody until there is a court order stating specifics of custody/visitation.

Plus, what would be the purpose of not paying her the child support? I don’t want my children to suffer more because she’s a mess.

Also, in my attempts to proceed with this case myself, I do need an example of a custody complaint if anyone would be willing to help me out there.

The Rosen Law Firm has a huge library of things that can help–this link takes you to a listing of some of them. Click on FORMS and you will probably find your answer. I don’t think it’s appropriate for anyone to share their custody orders online, or at all really.


That law firm doesn’t have what I’m looking for. I’m only looking for the consistent format used in NC. Anyone who wishes to help me out, I encourage to omit any and all personal information. I’m only looking for the format. I have my own personal case of course.


Its understood that you don’t want your kids to suffer but if she is like you say then more than likley you CS payment are not being used to take care of the kid anyway if and when she contacts you a says the kids need things you just inform her that you will buy them anything they need, if she says they need food send her a SuperWalmart credit card with enough money to charge whatever is need.( do you get the idea). this actually works.

Thanks for the advice. I’m going to utilize that method this month. I would still enjoy some advice from a lawyer if one reads this. I am planning on representing myself for the custody and divorce and need all the advice I can get.

Not to mention I’ve been watching “Law & Order” a lot lately! :slight_smile: