Adultry and child custody

Under NC law adultery is a crime. If this man is still legally married, it is illegal for him to have sex with anyone other than his spouse. He will not lose all rights to his children unless the courts find that true abandonment took place. If he has been in contact or had visits with the children, paid any type of child support there should be no case for abandonment. He should be able to have contact with them but if you read any of hawkman’s posts you may find that isn’t always the case. If she is granted primary custody, with reasonable visitations going to the him, he may find he’s at her mercy with regards to contact and seeing his childre.
He may be requested by the court to stay in North Carolina until court proceedings are complete for child custody, support and divorce. If this is the case, it would be in his best interest and that of his children to remain in NC. He needs to get an attorney and find out what his options are. If she has proof of adultery, he may need a criminal attorney as well…

So can he file for seperation and wait the 1 year period and then file for divorce? He said the laywer there always sides with the mother and that she can make it so he has no contact at all with the children. He also said that she can sue me. Fow what? I didn’t make him come here. That was his decision. In fact I told him to get a house there and wait it out for a year and he chose to leave and come here. I can’t imagine someone being forced to stay married when one partner has no love what so ever for the other.And will he lose all right to his kids and never be able to see them? Can the courts rule in her favor and never let him have contact even if he is seperated?

He needs to get an attorney and get separation papers drawn up. The date of separation begins the date he moved out. After one year and one day from that date, he can file for divorce and in about 30-45 days after she is served, the divorce will be final.
The courts do not always side with the mother anymore. The courts believe that it is in the best interest of the children to have each parent as involved in their lives as possible.
She can make it to where he doesn’t have contact with the children if she gets primary custody and doesn’t let him visit with them, or contact them between visits. If there has been minimal or no contact between him and the children and he has paid no child support since he left, she could very well show that he abandoned his children and her and get most of what she wants as well as primary custody.
She can sue you for alienation of affection. "To succeed on an alienation claim, the plaintiff has to show that (1) the marriage entailed love between the spouses in some degree; (2) the spousal love was alienated and destroyed; and (3) defendant

No matter the outcome, he needs to make sure that if he gets “reasonable” visitation, he needs to have specifics defined in the order such as when, how long, transportation of the children, and holidays, etc. listed in the order. If the order only states “reasonable visitation”, no state agency, local law enforcement, or court can realistically enforce it.

Dear Readyhough:

Greetings. First, I highly doubt that there are any papers that claim that the man cannot leave the state and if “he” (alone without the kids) leaves the state he will lose his rights. The man would still have visitation rights with his children, enve if he does leave. What is the question?

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

301 McCullough Drive Suite 510
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

He said that she has legal papers drawn up that state if he leaves the state without kids that she will make it so that he cannot have any visitation rights with his children. All on the grounds of abandonment,adultry, and alienation of affection. As I understand the law, abandonment is when there is no contact what so ever and no phone calls and they dont know where you are. I could be wrong however. I also thought that adultry had no bearing on visitation with the children. I guess the judge in that county is very much in favor of the mothers and the majority of the time awards custody to them. I didn’t know if he could maybe switch to a different county or if he is stuck with the one he is in.

Moving to another county will not benefit him very much regarding the proclivities of the judges about “all women need protection against those abusive men”[}:)] and you as a woman would like it also if you are in her place.

You can read my predicament and the conundrum I have left to face.

It’s the norm rather than the exception to women be the ones winning in family cases. Just in exceptional cases the man is the one given rightful treatment[:)]

I pray everyday that mine is that “exception” of the rule. Now you can understand my quandary![:(]

I was living with a man whom was married with children. He was told there was an accident and returned to take care of the children. Upon returning to NC he found out there was no accident . His wife has papers stating that if he leaves the state he will lose all right to the children and will not be able to have contact with them. She has said that he can be charged with adultry and abandonment and lose all rights. I’m not sure under NC law if this is accurate.He did leave for about 4 months but returned when he thought his wife had been seriously injured to take care of the children.