Aleination of affection

On 3 occasions in the last 2 months, while my wife has said she was with a female pastor friend to help counsel with our marital issues, in actuality, she was at the apt of a certain man. I know this because I found about him and went to his apt on what was their third night together, discoverd him and my wife. I told my wife to come home and we could start the healing and reconciliation process. She came home, admitted that there was sex and after discussing, penned a letter to the man, saying how hurtful it was what she did and that they should have no further contact of any kind, which she signed. This past weekend, seeing she hadn’t arrived back from a planned business trip to Charlotte, I went to the mans apt and discoverd her there once again. She came home with me and we discussed this over night. The discussion was emotional but freeing. Before it was over she showed me a seperation agreement that she made on a diy law website and asked me to complete filling it out. We have been in a couselor issued “trial seperation” for three weeks with her staying with her parents around the corner. I want reconciliation, she wants out, we are going to a conselor. She has offered me joint custody with myself being the primary caregiver to our 11 and 9 yr old.( living with me in the family home weekly, every other w/e and vacations and holidays equitibly. She has offered to split the cars, split the bills and do all she can to maintain normalcy for the children. I don’t know if her taking on a seperate residence is affordable w/o changing the standard of living of the kids . Two weeks before the seperation, we has started the bankrupsy process(13).
So , is it possible or worth it to go after the other man. I am thinking of this purely for the economic reasons, although I imagine any hope of reconciliation or cordial relationship would be out the window. thanks for your input.

For an alienation of affection suit, you have to show that there was love and affection between you and your wife and that it was alienated by this man. Whether it is worth it to pursue is a matter of facts (whether you have an action that would warrant an award in court) and whether he has funds to pay a judgment against you if received (in my opinion, a judgment is only as good as your ability to collect it).

It may be worth your time to have a consultation to fully discuss these issues to determine the appropriate course of action.

Wondering if it would be legally binding in the seperation aggreement to exclude any future contact with the “other man” for the aggreement to remain. ie "party agrees that there will be no further contact of any kind, ie mail, electronic, in person or otherwise with mr xxxx x xxxx. having any contact would then make this aggreement null and void.
I don’t want this destructive man to have any chance to take away any chance of reconciliation , nor under any circumstances would I want him around my children. Can this be said in such aggreement? thanks

Parties can include anything they want in an agreement as long as there is consideration for that provision. That said, I highly doubt that she will agree to a provision of that nature.