I am going through your typical separation now, and looking for support as well as guidance.
I left my wife 10 months ago, after 18 years. I had finally took all I could, and it was starting to affect my health. We had been slowly declining for the last 10 years, arguing constantly (my ex has OCD). I had an affair 5 years ago (a single, lunch hour fling), admitted to it, asked forgiveness, and went through counseling. It went well for almost a year, but then all the same problems resurfaced. I chose to end it, rather than to continue like that.
When I started dating again, it infuriated my wife. She told all 3 of my children about the affair, and how sorry I was. It all came to a boil right before Christmas, when my 16 yo son tried to confront me in my own apartment. I asked him to leave (4x), and when he wouldn’t, I tried to take him by the arm and escort him out. My wife used this to take a restraining order out on me for all 3 children.
Now she and her lawyer are saying I will only get limited visitation even after the 50b expires, as I now have a “history” of violence. In the meantime, I will have gone over a year without seeing my children, while she floods their mind with how horrible a person I am.
I went from “Father of the Year” a year ago, to not having children. I was involved in every aspect of their life prior to the separation. I coached all of them in little league soccer for 13 years. I was a PTA president, a Booster officer, S.S. teacher, deacon, choir member, usher, you name it! My life centered around my three children. Now, she has it in the 50b that I can’t be anywhere near the school or church, so I had to relinquish those positions. That’s all fine, less for me to have to deal with. But I am going crazy not being able to see my children, and knowing she is poisoning their minds!
Any hope, advice, or guidance here would be greatly appreciated.