Alienation of Affection

So…your wife cheated on you. Twice. And your solution is to…sue other people?

Since the options of the offended spouse are limted, and since she is trying to get post separation support, then yes my answer is to have them pay for her support by taking them to court.

[i]Originally posted by Matt_27703[/i] [br]Since the options of the offended spouse are limted, and since she is trying to get post separation support, then yes my answer is to have them pay for her support by taking them to court.

If you have absolute proof that she committed adultery, then she is not entitled under NC law to receive alimony/PSS from you.

Again, why try to ruin other’s lives when it was your wife who voluntarily sought out these affairs?

Illicit sexual conduct is an absolute bar to Alimoney, but not post separation support.

From some of the postings that Janet posted on here, when she has a client looking to sue for this, she writes a letter “threatening” to sue if X amount is not paid, or settled. I think it would be wise to at least consult an attorney on this. Especially if you have proof. Though the affects on your STBX are limited I would make sure that each and every one are used. AofA/Criminal conversation are difficult to pursue. Read the post from “Comingclean”. There may be options on the post separation support that you are not aware of.

You say she is ‘trying to get post separation support’. So that means you aren’t paying her any money now? Do you have kids? If you do, are you paying child support.

The reason I ask, is that if she had an affair and has separated and she is trying to get support, then she has to go through those legal channels to ‘order’ you to pay it if you haven’t had a separation agreement addressing that. If she is a ‘dependent spouse’, I don’t know how that plays in with the affair and all. If you make about the same money, she has no claim to support unless she is still in the marital home and is responsible for payments that have your name on them (ie: mortgage, utilities, car loans). Your post wasn’t real in-depth about those issues.

Bottom line-let her take the legal channels to get support from you. Get a good lawyer. Get your evidence together. My advise is to deal with your wife, not her lovers. If using a threat of suing them makes her back off of the support issue, then you decide that. But going through the whole ordeal of suing the 3rd party punishes them for something she did. Not to excuse them, but it was her mistake, under her control, and she should be responsible for her actions first. You have 3 years to decide if it’s worth going after the guys.

updated info:
We do not have any kids, she has moved out, I am not currently paying her anything, I make about twice as much, but she as an income that would be considered average for NC.
The CC and AoA trials can be very expensive and require huge retainers, thats is why I posted originally, I want to know if anyone has ever represented themselve in this kind trial. Is it more of a threat, absolutely. Should she get anything after doing what she did, absolutely not. Should the spouse of her first boyfriend be contacted (still considering)? Not that it matters, but there was no indication of a problem, fighting, or withdrawal prior to disovering what was going on.

I went through something very similar with my ex when I found out he was dating a married woman…I argued for a while about it not being my place and that if her husband was meant to know about it, he would find out as I did. My biggest reason for not telling him…I believe he would have actually killed my ex.

I have no patience for those that cheat on their spouse. I believe that everyone should take responsibility for their actions and sometimes, a suit like this is the only way that that 3rd party that was involved in your marriage will be held accountable. You have to weigh the what you will put into this and what you will get in return…and I don’t necessarily mean the money. You sound very level headed about the whole thing so it probably wouldn’t look to the courts as being strictly about revenge. Hopefully, an attorney will respond on this because I am not sure about filing this type of suit yourself. From what I have read, in a lot of these, if they are guilty of AofA, the threat is oftentimes enough. If the first boyfriend is married, a letter from a lawyer with the threat of a suit, may be enough for him to pay to keep his wife from finding out…just to think about.

hoping to get a legal response…

You can bring up the issue of adultery at a hearing on the post separation support issue. You can file an action for alienation of affection on your own. Each person who attempts to file this action on their own will find varying degrees of difficulty. Representing yourself is going to be a lot of hard work, I would do it, and I practice this type of law every day.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

Hello All,
Background: Currently Separated, She had two affairs; one from Aug 06-September 06 and the other from October 06-present.

Is is possible/practical to file a lawsuit for Alienation of Affection without representation? The initial cost and retainers are very high, but I have all of the evidence and it the case would be very clearcut.

Second, I found out about both affairs at the same time. Can I go after both of them?