Well, you have to make a decision. Do you want out of a marriage that your wife does not seem to want? You have tried once to reconcile and you now said you’ve had enough.
If you want to persue AofA or CC then you need evidence. Pictures, confession. Do you wish to go through the steps to sue the other guy?
If you want to end the marriage, then have a lawyer draw up a separation agreement. Having kids throws another element in there as far as who goes with who. I PERSONALLY would spend my money on getting good advice from a lawyer first. If you think persuing an AoA or CC suit is worth it later, you technically have 3 years to do that from what I understand. I would concentrate on my kids and dividing things up first. Lawsuits are expensive…so be prepared if that is the route you go.