My husband had this problem with his ex-wife. He had three children from his first marriage, and his second wife made life miserable for everyone if he even tried to call them. She was jealous, mentally unstable, and tried to be controlling. The children were all miserable, they missed their father terribly, but going to see him wasn’t worth the hassle of dealing with an angry manipulative new wife. His relationship with his children suffered seriously for the four years he was with this woman… He still deals with anger and resentment from his children because of what he subjected them to with this woman. Now that he and I are married, I am very supportive of his relationship with his kids (after all, they were in the picture loooong before i was…) but there is so much damage, he may not be able to repair the relationship with his two older children. They are too hurt by him “choosing” his new wife over them (and that is how they will see it, because they are children!) to get “over it” yet, if ever.
I would caution you to make a decision, and fast. The longer your children sense that your new wife is impeding your relationship, the more they will question your love and commitment to them. You have to wonder why a woman who chose to marry you, knowing that you had a family, would do this?? It’s not healthy, and I bet this isn’t the only thing that she gets “ANGRY” over.