I’ve been reading your posts for a while and unfortunately I think you are having a very hard time accepting that your husband(soon to be ex) is in this new relationship. Your children often reflect your emotions, positive and negative. They realize that Dad is the “bad guy” and this is echoed in your behavior toward him. They feel protective of you because they know you were the one who was left behind and cheated on.
The sooner you move on the better for you and for them. It should be left up to them individually how they handle their father in this new relationship and what kind of relationship they have with their father and his new wife. They are all teens and have lots going on in school and hormonally to have to also deal with protecting you and your feelings. it is time for you to focus on yourself and begin letting go of your anger and hurt at this man who betrayed you. The more you hold on to it, the more power and control he has over you.
In the long run you want your children, for their emotional and mental well-being, to have a good relationship with their father. You don’t have to push them into this but you can remain positive or at least neutral about them being in contact with him and this other woman.
A very good point mal
kateyoung I know how you feel very to let go and to feel free in time this will I am feeling more and more free and moving in the right direction and soon I will be free of her from my life not the childrens life just mine. You to will see that.
Hope the best for you
By your own words he is doing what the court order says(Our court order says they are not to be around her during visitation)or does it says neither of you are to have overnight guest of the opposite sex while you have custody of the children. And once you get divorce thta changes.If you don’t stop trying to make your ex look like the villian in the eyes of the kids they will eventually see you for what you are. Its time to let go before you lose it all (your children)
If your Husband files for divorce on Oct. 19th you could be divorced by the end of the year. You can file for an extension of time to answer the complaint, however your ex’s attorney can move forward with the divorce once thirty days have elapsed. The court order remains in effect after he remarries, however if your court order refers to unrelated guests of the opposite sex, she would no longer be unrelated after they were married.
Helena M. Nevicosi
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my spouse told my children he plans to remarry New Years eve. Our one year date of separation is Oct 18th. Could everything be over legally in 2 1/2 months. He plans to file and I suspect he will file on the 19th. Do I have 30 days to respond (or 60 if I ask for an extension)
Our minor children are having difficulty accepting this and have not yet met the woman he plans to marry. Our court order says they are not to be around her during visitation as he is committing adultery with her and he has so little time with them that their psychologist suggested one on one time between father and children.
Once they are married, does that court order still hold or is it void as now he is married. I really think he is getting married so soon so he can “force” his children to spend the night, even though they object (note children are 17,15,13)Ideally, I think he should give his children time to accept this as their relationship with his new wife will be strained form the beginning