I was served with a civil summons on yesterday requesting Divorce from Bed and Board. Married 10 years, one son born of marriage, one son raised by Husband as his son for the last 13 years and he is now 15. Older child has not been told that it is his Step Father. Spouse has requested Custody of younger child, full possession on home, and child support. Now that he has a hefty bank account, he has hired a lawyer to make me move, and wants custody so he doesn’t have to pay child support. But he works 40-60 hours per week, mostly at night and weekends, receives military retirement and Va Disability and pension plus extra for spouse and children. So instead of cooperating and agreeing on a separation, he does this.
Spouse has been having an affair for at least 15 months, I have actual copies of text message with her and he is aware that I have them. We both work at the same location. Spouse is retired Military, before we married. Has just now been approved for 100% disability so he just received back pay in the amount of about $17,000 which includes payment for me and both boys. He has not provided any of the money to me.
Spouse pays mortgage and pays cable, child care (after school) water bill. Insurance is paid by him through Tricare. Also pays insurance for vehicle I drive, though I pay the car note. I pay electric bill, and but most of food for children. We coordinate drop off and pick up for school.i have normal Monday - Friday 8-5 work schedule, spouse schedule changes as he works as a server at a Country Club. He works mostly nights, and just about every weekend. The children are with me and I have cared for and provided for them and allowed him to work whenever.
Marriage went bad about 2.5 years ago, and all communication basically ended about 18 months ago when I discovered the affair. Spouse comes homes at least 3-4 week well after midnight, and for the past few months, leaves the house at about 0615 and returns just in time to take kids to school. If he is off during the week, he is sometimes home when me and the kids get there, but leaves shortly after we arrive and returns close to midnight or later. He sleeps on the sofa, has been for about 2 years or longer. He doesn’t buy food for house, may take them for breakfast, his GF works at a breakfast restaurant, she stays with her mother. He takes them to the park occasionally, but will bring them hone without feeding them. He pulls up, doesn’t even turn car off, they get out ring doorbell to come in if door is locked and he drives off. Doesn’t really know if I am gone or not.
He has refused to discuss a separation and come to agreement on disposition of home. The deed in both names, mortgage is only in his name. I refuse to move out until we have signed an agreement. I have asked to sell the home he buy me out either in lump sum or monthly payment, or he refinance and I receive my portion of equity. He has continuously refused. He threatened to kill me on several occasion before he let me have the house. I called the police twice, he was asked to leave on one occasion only for the night. He has repeatedly said that he would kill me and burn the house down before I get it, or any money from it. Arguments has gotten bad in front of kids. My youngest son says the arguments are frustrating and has nightmares.
I am sure my first order of business us to counterclaim for adultery. How much should I complete on my own, and when should I get a lawyer retained. Funds are very limited and he now has access to much more money than me.