What do you need him to have a mental evaluation for? Custody? Divorce?
I have to be honest with you though that this sounds fairly normal for difficult separations. My husband’s ex left him for another man and still hit the roof when he and I started dating. Threatening me, screaming and yelling at me in front of the children. She also has been diagnosed as being bipolar but would not take the necessary medication because of the possible “side effects”. Has “attempted” suicide and I use that lightly because the attempt was solely for attention.
My own ex dumped me for someone else and then tried to have their marriage annulled until he found out that I would not take him back. Then e-mailed me to tell me that I never really loved him or even knew what that meant. He was angry and hurt and humiliated. He made a mistake letting me go and so he tried every tactic he could to win me back. Separations and divorces are one of the most emotionally stressful things a person can go through, along with a death or loss of a job. There is a wide spectrum of emotions and most people need help in dealing with it.
You can stop the visitations with the stepson but my suggestion is that this needs to be a decision that your stepson is involved with, if he’s old enough…as for calling your son during visits, with him being so young, ask that you can call him once or twice a week at a specified time. Since he is so young there is no way to understand this and talking to you daily while he’s with his father may be confusing him. Just my opinion…
What do you need him to have a mental evaluation for? Custody? Divorce?
To protect my son in the long run. There is alot that has happened that I have not mentioned here that makes me worry about my ex’s decision making process. I do not want this to change custody ect, that is settled… I want to make him get help and treatment! My ex’s father has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder since our seperation in July 07.
You can stop the visitations with the stepson but my suggestion is that this needs to be a decision that your stepson is involved with, if he’s old enough…
My son is 11. I stopped the visits in Nov 07, but recently let him visit with him again when my son asked me if we could and sat down down to discuss it. My son visited him and has asked not to see him again because he feels that my ex always lies to him and uses his own words (my son’s) to hurt me and him… (yes, he acted out again, he likes to use my 11 yo to get “information”, spin it and create problems where there aren’t any.)
as for calling your son during visits, with him being so young, ask that you can call him once or twice a week at a specified time. Since he is so young there is no way to understand this and talking to you daily while he’s with his father may be confusing him.
I only talk to my son every 3-4 days when he is away for extended visits. This about the same amount of time as a normal weekend away with his dad. I do not call him everyday, because that is too much for him. My little boy will be 4 in Oct… he has even asked to call his dad and I let him dial the phone (with help) and call his dad. I do not deny him access to his son over the phone and I am not abusing phone privileges to cause difficulties. The only time I call more than one day in a row is if my ex won’t answer his cell or house phone, I will leave messages on both and try again the next day.
If you are divorced or if custody is settled and no desire to change then the only way that you could have a court order mental evalutaion is if your ex is involuntarily committed to a mental facility or attempts to harm himself or someone else. You can not MAKE him get help or treatment if he doesn’t want it unless he is a danger to himself or someone else. Otherwise there is no cause for a court to grant a request based on the desire to help someone…sorry.
In response about his request that you not call, there’s little that you can do. He has the right to request that you do not call, but you also have the right to contact your child, even during the other parents custodial time as long as you aren’t harrassing. Continue calling as you have and don’t be concerned unless he takes it further. If your son has expressed valid reasons and there is no legal custody between you and he for your stepson visiting then you have done the right thing. Let him be part of the decision, but ulitmately decide for him.
I also applaud your willingness to keep your child in contact with him. One day maybe he will also see what type of person his father is…
The only alternative that you would have is to attempt to gain primary custody of your son and attempt to show the court that your ex is mentally unstable. That way you could possibly request a mental evaluation. Over half the people in the world have some sort of mental disorder and it would be nearly impossible for the courts to force an evaluation on every person who’s ex thought they were crazy. I’m not suggesting that you do not have cause to be concerned but I am saying that it would take a lot and a valid reason for you to get a court to order this. You can not force treatment on someone who does not want it unless they have harmed themselves or someone else…
If there is no pending custody or other legal action where his mental status would be an issue there is no basis to request a mental health evaluation. If the circumstances warrant, one can be requesting when the parties are litigating custody or child support.
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Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm
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What type of circumstances/events/facts need tobe present for a court to grant a request for a mental evaluation?
Would the fact that an individual has told family members (in emails and phone conversations, but mainly emails that have been saved) of their estranged spouse the following help support such a request, in addition to difficult behavior:
That he had the guns removed from the house to prevent himself from hurting me or him (the guns are back in his home and he never acted upon it)
That he has anger and communication issues
That his father has been diagnosed as bipolar and he believes he is but will not seek help because it would ruin his military career
(After we were legally seperated and had a court order in place) Making veiled threats to the man I was dating - telling me I had to have the man I was dating call him or he would go find him he knew where he lives, works and hangs out
The school counselor of my son, his step-son, recommending that he longer visits him because she felt that emotional/mental abuse was occuring during his visits
Are these things hand-in-hand with rather erratic decisions (one day he emails me telling he loves me with all his heart and the following month he tells me I am not allowed to call our 3 year ols son when he is visiting for the summer because it distracts from his visits/time with him and it creates hard feelings inside him.)
If this is enough, would it be a motion that I need to type? Thank you.