Let’s see here - first, congratulations at getting the house refinanced (even if you had to pay a little, this seems like a coup for you!).
No, this is not relevant.
Also, voluntarily depressing income is not the same as depressing spendable cash for the children or increasing expenses unreasonably. You would still have a difficult argument here, since the refinance was agreed to and you knew it was coming.
Sure, if you bring it up. The problem is that you are doing above and beyond the call of child support. The guidelines rule child support and it is highly unlikely that the court will not set child support in accordance with the guidelines. Instead of looking at it as “we already spend that money on them” you will have to start looking at it as “we have to cut down on some of that spending.” Yes, the children will suffer a little, but that is a decision that she has made, not you. You can let her know this, but this should NEVER be a topic of discussion with the children.
Only if you are asking the court to deviate from the guidelines.
Not likely. You may need to stop doing this if child support makes it prohibitive. You will just have to explain to the children that due to a new debt that you have had to make some household cuts. Talking to children about finances (without the specifics of child support) is appropriate and good for them to understand that sometime budgeting is necessary.
No. Stop offering, since it does not help you and the children are not likely to benefit from it. You need to save the funds to do stuff with the children while in your care. Thank you.
Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax
10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax
1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.
Janet - thanks for your response. Before hearing back from you I used your website and looked at a lot of the previous postings and responses from the legal team and some of the articles. Our lawyer actually recommended your site! I shared the info w/ my husband and at least we felt a little bit more prepared. The support amount has doubled - my husband has had some profitable months[:)]. He has spoken to the children and explained that some of the things that we provided them with should now be coming from their mother but did not do this in a vindictive way. You are right it is great to have the issue of her not paying mortgage of our back. My husband actually FINALLY qualified for a credit card after trying for 2 years!- it has been and will continue to be useless to try and negotiate with her and we are best sticking by the guidelines. Thanks again, p.s. you keep some LATE hours trying to respond to these postings!
Yes…I do keep some late hours. I am sorry the support has doubled. You must continue to look at this positively and just keep your head up. Some of those funds will trickle down to the children. Most of the mother’s I represent do use the funds from child support for the children…but there are some that do not and those are the worse people to be parents. Thank you.
Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax
10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax
1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.
First I want to thank you so much for this website. It is extremely helpful!
My husband’s ex has just filed a civil suit to get more child support from us. They have been divorced for 3 years and according to the child support calculator and based on his current income they probably could increase the amount we pay by about $300/month. Here are my questions:
We recently helped his ex-wife refinance the home that was in their name in order to get my husband’s name off the mortgage as she was obligated to pay mortgage in this residence but was chronically late paying (even long before their divorce)thereby repeatedly damaging his credit. We paid for part of closing and all of the appraisal and know that she took out a new loan at more than 2x the old which means her mortgage payment is more than double. About $40K of this was to pay off part (we settled for much less) of my husband’s equity in the house but she elected to refinance for about $20K more than this. Will the court look at our attempt to provide her with her own home as well as what I see as her attempt to “voluntarily depress her income” by incurring more debt?
We have receipts for clothing, shoes, medical expenses, trips, camps, school supplies that we have paid for for the children - will the court look at this?
We have voluntarily set up 529 accounts for the children - will these be considered?
We pay the children monthly allowance and have savings accounts for them - will these be considered?
Long before receiving the civil suit we made attempts in writing to try and negotiate paying her a higher child support amount for a longer period of time. Granted, not as high as the calculator but we offered to pay an increased amount until his 2nd of 3 children started college - and his ex-wife never responded to this but we know she received it. Will the court look at this?
Thanking you in advance for your reply.