I thought there was something about extraordinary expenses that could cause a reduction of support, for example your cancer treatment or the travel expenses. I’d check into that. Do you have a court ordered custody agreement or something you have worked out between yourself? Have you run the child support calculator on this site?
I have run the calculator. With her having little to no income, if I were to go to the court and request a change and they based it on the guidelines, I would actually end up paying even more in child support than I already do. Since incomes of second spouses do not count, she shows almost 0 income for the last 2-3 years. Even running the claculator with gasoline expenses figured in as an extraordinary expense, I would still end up paying more. Our order was done in court in 2001 and at the time, I was given some consideration for gasoline at the time, but, as we all know, gasoline prices have tripled since 2001. She does not drive either, so she will not agree to a halfway meeting point, unless of course, it is convenient for them and they just happen to be going somewhere nearby at the same time. That’s the only times they have agreed to meet me halfway.
THis is from Divorce Net:
Other Reasons to Deviate from the Guidelines
The court must articulate a specific basis for deviation based upon the guidelines; for example, other assets available to a parent, earning capacity, extraordinary expenses for the care of a child, extraordinary parental expenses (significant visitation, job or medical medical expenses), needs of a parents other dependents, coordination of total family support (division of assets, alimony and tax planning considerations
It seems to me that you may also have a case because she chooses not to work though she has in the past so that her income is voluntarily depressed, relying instead on her new husband’s income. You may want to talk to someone with a legal aid group that might be able to offer free or low cost legal advice or representation.
Thanks, I will look into it. I don’t know who messed me up more,my ex or my attorney at the time. Wish I knew then what I know now. Me and my ex had actually come to an agreement on child support before we ever got to court and my attorney had agreed to it and said it was OK. Being unaware that there was even such a thing as guidelines, I took his word for it. Lo and behold when we got to court, he suddenly informs me of the existence of these guidelines and the amount that I had paid her all those months was no longer valid and that I was in arrears. She left me with almost $32,000 in consumer debt. Funny thing, her half of that debt was suddenly and magically almost to the the penny what I was “behind” in child support on, so the court ruled that I was to pay much more than the guidelines would have otherwise ruled, based on our incomes at the time. I am still paying this “arrears” even today. I think it was up to my attorney to have informed me of these guidelines long before we ever got to court.
I feel for you, it hurts to know how money can change people she knows what she is doing and I think it is wrong I would aswell look inot what you can do.
Wow I did not know about guidelines I think I got away pretty good in one hand or it was sep agg that she tried to get removed but could not and this is where it saved my butt even with this she still tried and lost everything and cost me aswell thats life but it end that is good and its almost over
Hope the best for you and hope your surgery gos without any problems good luck
The child support cannot be changed based on the income of her new Husband. However, if you need medical treatment that may be a circumstance to justify the change of child support. You may want to file a motion to change child support and ask the court to consider your circumstances.
Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax
Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044
Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.
Thanks for the info. I have considered filing such a motion, but to be honest, I fear repercussions. She lives almost 200 miles away in another county and says she will not and cannot attend a hearing in Wake County (where the divorce was done in 2001) Not only that, she says if I even dare to modify anything, she will countersue for the expenses to come down, if she is forced to attend and also any attorney fees involved. Neither of us has an attorney at present and to be honest, neither of us can afford legal representation and I make too much money to qualify for legal aid. If I filed a motion would she be required to attend the hearing?
I’m not sure that the courts would require you to reimburse her for expenses or attorney’s, especially given the reason you are modifying. AND if she is threatening that then she obviously has the money to afford an attorney. I believe that you can file for modification on your own though without an attorney. I do not know if they would required her to be at the hearing or not, hopefully an attorney will answer.
As a side note, while I would applaud your generous nature you are trying to modify child support to reflect the present situation and to make concessions for future. You seem to want to be more than fair about taking care of your child. What are the repercussions of NOT filing this? Your ex does not seem to want to accomodate anything for you so when are you going to quit accomodating her? I see this as she is threatening you with a law suit to keep you from trying to do what you have a legal right to do and what will be finacially better for you. You may also be able to modify the amount of extraordinary expenses you can calculate since she is in no way helping you out on the visitations. She is trying to intimidate you to keep things as they are and with your finacial and medical situation I do not see how you can, without getting into legal trouble by not being able to pay.
EDIT: I agree with mal, her employment status is voluntary and is based on her new husband’s income. The courts can base child support on her prior job or earning potential. Just my opinion, but I would do what is right and best for me even if it’s going to make her mad, as long as your child is not suffering or going without.
Thanks. Believe it or not, the expense of travelling for visitation, the medical and life insurance expenses were actually mandated in the divorce decree. Not only that, it says that any and all medical expenses not covered by insurance are to be split between us as well. To make matters worse, since she claims no income of her own, she has received Medicaid benefits for several years now as well. I hope I can get this resolved soon as it is making life very difficult.
I have read the lawyers write it before, but don’t let them threaten you with legal action unless they already have it. If you can show that you tried to work this out with her without going through the court system and taking up the judge’s time then her countersuit will not be worth that much. We had the same sort of situation, i.e. being threatened with having to pay legal costs when we wanted to modify custody and support. We went ahead and did it and I guess her lawyer advised her that she had no case since we had made numerous efforts to avoid involving lawyers and courts which she ignored.
I guess one of the realities is that in fact, I probably cannot show a 15% difference in my income since my child support order was issued, but expenses have certainly gone up faster than salaries to match. I’ve had the same job now going on 3 years, and even with small raises, my income has not kept up with the cost of living, which is probably true for many folks out there. It’s a shame that the court only looks at the income, and the gross income at that. I know why they do it because there are some out there deliberately depressing their income so they don’t have to pay as much, but it’s high time that all child support payers were not treated as if we all did that.
If you did not succeed in having child support modified you would probably be ordered to pay her attorney’s fees, but probably not her travel costs.
Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax
Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044
Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.
My ex tells me that she cannot afford an attorney, I know I can’t afford one. If I could afford an attorney, I would not be worried about not having enough to pay child support. If I were to file, representing myself, and she, as she has threatened to do, just not show up for the hearing because she cannot afford an attorney, what happens then?
If she did not appear at the hearing, the court would make a ruling based solely on the evidence that you present.
Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax
Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044
Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.
My ex spouse had the good fortune to marry someone who inherited nearly a million dollars. They take vacations most anytime they want to and she has not worked a full time job in nearly 4 years. In addition, I pay for all costs related to vistitation, including gas for a 300 mile round trip twice every other weekend. I also pay all medical and life insurance premiums in addition to paying child support every month, with nearly 2/3 of one paycheck per month going totally for child support. I am almost dead broke now. Now I am faced with a situation where I need surgery for possible cancer. I will be out of work for at least 3-4 weeks at best. My company requires that I take this as unpaid leave. Now the problem is that I have told my ex about this and she says that there’s nothing she can do to help, or will not help. I called the Child Support agency and they basically said too bad, so sad, better find a way to pay or else. What can I do at this point?