Been married for three years and want out

In North Carolina, you do not need a “paper” to be legally separated. Once you and your husband are living in separate residences, you are legally separated. However, while the separation agreement you have may have been a properly signed and notarized document, if you did not separate immediately after signing the agreement, it is likely unenforceable. You should either draft a new agreement(or have an attorney draft one), and have your husband sign it either after one of you has moved out, or plan to move out immediately after it is signed.

Divorce in North Carolina is based on 1 year separation, not fault. So, the only reason his affair would be relevant is if you were asking for alimony, which is a separate legal claim from divorce. Alimony is based on dependency (you’d need to show that you were a financially dependent spouse), but evidence of his adultery strengthens your claim. Otherwise, if you are not asking for alimony, his affair would not be considered for the divorce.

Good luck,

Shonnese D. Stanback
The Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 200
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.256.1534 direct voice
919.256.1667 direct fax
919.787.6668 main voice
919.787.6361 main fax

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

my husband and i got married Jan 1st 2000 after that we went into the army. I left a couple of times due to me not liking being away from ny family then i went back and lived on base with him during that time i was back in oklahoma i found out he fathered a baby. I never filed for seperation when i was gone those two times and plus i figured out she was concieved when i was on vacation for 2 months with my family. he does not think it is his now he has child support taken out of his check. i want a divorce. if no papers were filed for seperation in north carolina or any record of it. Can i still have a judgement against him for adultry if i have proof of it? Proof meaning she (the girl) claiming he is the father and the child support taken out on him. and also can i file for alimony and child support? and i am confused about the seperation issue. Do both of us have to go down town to get if filed? i am asking because i drew up something of my own and had it notarized. It said as of this date my husband and i have seperated and what ever bills have his name on it he will pay and whatever bills have my name on it i will pay and that child support will be filed at a later date. Will that stand up in court? What evidence do i need to show that he cheated while still in the marriage? oh and one more thing we are still living together and i have that paper in a folder. i am not working right now because i take care of the kids and i am currently looking for work and have not been able to move out yet can i still use that paper?