Being taken to the cleaners


Dear redflags:

Greetings. First, start going over and highlighting your legitimate expenses. Take the position of equal income is fair…meaning that for both of you to have the child half of the time and for both of you to have the same disposable income.

Next, come up with a frugal budget for her and show where she is not staying on the budget. Start now telling her that the budget is reasonable, sending her copies of the budget, objecting to bad spending, etc.

Finally, find out when she plans to go to school and for what AND/OR where she plans to work with her current education. Hire an expert for your alimony trial who can testify about her income earning capacity. Thank you.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


After the court hearing for PSS and Child Support, if you combine the two incomes, she is getting around 75%.

I have solid proof of her spending habits, and can see that she spends almost everything she gets living an extravagant lifestyle, even better than she was living before separation, and I’m being forced to support this while I can barely make it by each month. She does not try to save any money unless she is hiding funds somewhere. It seems that these spending habits is a strategy on her part to make sure that she never has any money left at the end of the month. She has even opened and run up the balance on credit cards that didn’t exist before the DOS. Her attorney has constantly used the argument thru this whole ordeal that she is a single mom, uneducated, who doesn’t make much money, and basically can’t make it. She has made a fool out of her attorney who I can see really believes things are that bad for her, and is fighting very hard for her and has postponed receiving attorney fees from her. This is the same argument that will be used in the ED to justify why it should not be a 50/50 split.

This has gotten very old, but I can see where it is heading. In the alimony trial, this argument will be used again as a basis for me to continue to pay this amount.

The ED and the alimony is upcoming. What can I do to counter this strategy? When she presents her “needs” to the judge, what can I provide my attorney that could convince the judge to not feel so sorry for her, like the last judge did.