Another messed up family


Dear lostidentity:

Greetings. Let’s stop for one moment and speak to one issue that you have. You said you want to resolve the separation issues at a “minimal expense” yet you are waiting months to retain an attorney. Those are months of you continuing to pay and her continuing to be out of work expecting you to pay - INCREASING the expense of the separation and divorce. Although an attorney would be an expense, you have to see if you are going to save more with an attorney or without one, and you clearly would be saving more with one.

Okay, on to your questions:

  1. Not really. You cannot take one income for one household and expect it to supply two households (unless the income is very high).

  2. She is incorrect. Many experts have testified in open court contrary to this point and almost all current literature says that children are better adjusted with the love and support of both parents.

  3. No, you do not “file” for separation in NC. You just “are” separated when you stop living with your spouse and one of you intend it to be permanent.

  4. Yes, you can call any of our numbers for a consultation in the area nearest you. Thank you.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


Well, I’m making no progress in trying to complete this seperation. Quick reminder. My wife has been stay at home with our five year old, he is now in kindergarten. She has her degree and is capable of working. We’re trying to resolve the seperation issues at a minimal expense. I think she is getting poor advice somewhere, please provide feedback. I bring home $3300 a month, we have $40,000 in debt and $12,000 equity in our house. I suggest that she start working now so we can move forward. She’s decided that she wait until fall to start working and that I support her 100% (that would require all money I bring home).

We went to “Families in Transition” and she was told she needed to start making money because the child support calculator determined what I would pay and that alimony would be only temporary if at all since she’s capable holding a good job. She decided that he did not know what he’s talking about and he realized how absurd she was being so he informed us that he would have no interest in our case.

  1. Does she have a leg to stand on expecting me to support her 100% until she decides to get a job? How much time is considered reasonable (it’s been 3 months already)?

  2. Can you suggest any web sites or professionals that deal with joint custody? She’s trying to tell me that it would not be in the best interest of our son to spend several nights a week with me. That it might confuse him. Is this documented that you are aware of or is there any proof that a child is better off spending ample amount of time with his father though his permanent residence is with his mommy?

  3. Can I file for a seperation even though there has yet to be an agreement?

  4. Lastly, it’s appearing that I will need representation should I just call the number you have here for a consultation?