You most likely will not get a reply to this from the attorney who usually responds to these post. Unless they want more info.
Usually, one must have a domestic violence charge against you to get a restraining order issued. Is this between you and your spouse?
If so, once you have a DV, no matter what the circumstances, the label and associated stigma that goes with it will stay with you forever.
I am in a simular situation. My wife went to a lawyer about filing for divorce and the first thing they asked her was “are there any DV charges ever made against me?” Of course there were not in the 14 years of our marriage. Well, to say the least, the next week, I had 2 DVs! I did not even see it coming. It’s a long story!
Lawyers and women use DV’s as a tool to insure they get custody of children and recieve alimony. It is an abuse of the laws that no one wants to address.
As far as letting the judge know your side of the story? well, I have been seperated/awaiting a divorce for 6 months now and have never been given a chance to speak to the judge. The 2 lawyers talk between themselves and the judge and then tell you what has been decided for you and your future. And, keep in mind that the lawyers are friendly towards one another because they know that they may get referrals from one another and that your case is just like many others and they do not want to deal with the emotional side of the issues. They see and hear these cases so much that they become desensitized to the human emotions of the clients they represent. Most people walk away in dismay at the fact that they dished out so much money just to be kept in the dark (Feeling Like A Mushroom Is An Understatement!). The Family Court System has been streamlined in order to expidite the divorce process. Mediation is preferred in most cases except those where DV’s are ivolved. But, from my experience, case are not a quickly resolved. I have been seperated 6 months and have not discussed, medated or went to trial on anything yet. If this is streamlined, I can only imagine what it was like prior to the changes made in 1994 within the family court system.
I don’t want to discourage you from fighting for what is right. I just think you should know that it will be a long hard and expensive battle if you are heading for a divorce.
Also, if yo are in a potential divorce situation and need an attorney, find someone who has been through a simlar case or friends and associates who have had a lawyer that actually cares about their clients. DO NOT use the lawyer referal web sites to find a lawyer. Those that rank lawyers do not even know the lawyers they rate and they are useless sites.
Also, keep in mind that lawyers require you to pay large fees up front and will tell you they can make things right for you but, once they have your money, then things don’t seem to look so promising anymore. Take notes during your initial consultation and always have them available to refer to later when things don’t quite go as you were told they would.
If, yours is not a case of Domestic Violence, then you are much better off then most people.
My prayers are with you…
Phil