Boundary issue with ex


#1

We, my spouse and I, are having problems with my wife’s ex-spouse. My wife is the custodial parent and he has scheduled visitation every other Thursday and every other weekend. First, we have asked him repeatedly that we only want him to speak to my wife about the kids. He has said that he “will have always have a relationship with her.” We respect his need to communicate about the children but he never stops there and is always asking the kids about our private information. He also calls the kids several times a day and observes no discretion or respect to our schedule in the house and is very demanding that he can talk to the kids at anytime regardless of what we as a family are doing. He also feels he has a say in thing within our household like what kind of dog we happen to have, what we buy, etc. He also shows up at all of the kid’s extra-curricular activities, we understand his right to do that, but we feel he is abusing the time she is supposed to be having with the kids. He also uses these opportunities to try to socialize with her. He also used to show up at her place of business with out warning.

I think what we want to know is my wife’s rights to her own time with the kids. Can he legally show up to all the activities outside of his visitation? We also want to know any ramifications for him continuing to attempt to talk to my wife despite are request that he communicate via email and only about the kids.


#2

The children’s father does not have the right to chose what goes on in your household, or what kind of dog you get, he does however have the right to attend the children’s activities.


#3

But does the custodial parent have rights, she is paying for the activities, and it is her time that she wants to spend with the kids? She doesn’t interfere with his visitation.


#4

Based on my experience if this issue were to go to court the court would rule in favor of the father. In the court’s eyes, its not about who is paying for the activity, but what is in the best interests of the children. The courts tend to take the view that parental involvement on all fronts is a good thing and in the children’s best interests.


#5

My ex-wife had a similar issue. But, she had insisted on a Parental Coordinator during the child custody hearings. The PC was good about telling her she must respect the limits between two families.


#6

kinda had the same problems with my stepsons mom – when he was in football – she never gave us a schedule of games - she would tell us on a weekend that we would have him the night before when we picked him up that he had a game the next day, well guess who would be at the games the next day…yep her— we finally got at copy of the schedule from the coach to know when he had games. She never told us about the games that she took him too…until afterwards. She didn’t want us to know about them so we couldn’t attend them.