Greetings. First, you should be commended for your good parenting and positive stance on how to behave in the presence of your child. Now, here are my suggestions:
Enroll her in counseling with someone that she feels safe with. While this can be used later in court if necessary, you should do it mainly because she needs a neutral person to talk to that will understand her dilemna.
Help her define her own style in magazines, books, and by discussing that with her. She may like the style of your ex-husband’s new wife and while that will feel very threatening to you, it is normal.
Keep a journal, that your daughter does not know about, of the things she comes home and tells you. Make sure to include dates.
Talk to your ex-husband - now, I realize this may be useless, but let him know that you expect him to be a positive role model (even if only in a letter). Don’t be negative, only positive.
Make sure that your daughter understands what type of feelings are normal and appropriate and which aren’t. Fear is not something she should feel around daddy. The counselor will help you with this.
Good luck…and let us know how things progress or if you need a referral.
Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax
10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.