I feel your pain… Although I can’t give you any advice, I can understand what you are saying.
My ex and I have 3 boys… We have been divorce for 6 years and two of the boys are grown now and both grew up hating their father. Now the youngest is 14 years old and he is showing the same signs. Hates having to see him or even talk to him on the phone. It is sad when these things happen and it tears your heart up to see your children hurting. I have begged my ex not to put the children in the middle but let’s work things out for the best for the kids. He flatly refuses. I, for the life of me, cannot understand a person that willfully hurts their children just to get back at the other parent. It is sad… the children and the parent that wants the best for the children, are torn all the pieces constantly it seems.
I wish the best for you and your children.