Can exwife get around custody agreement?


First, talk to your attorney if he/she’s been reliable up to this point. I would think that this is a legal agreement and can be upheld in court.
Second, check and see what the statute of limitations are in your area for filing the charges for the check fraud. If you’re still able to press charges, that threat alone may make her back off. Avoid pressing charges if you can as this will only make you look like a “vendictive man” in the eyes of the court. Try to get proof (see if there are any police reports for domestic disturbances at her address)or a recorded admission from you ex that the boyfriend is abusive (you can record a phone conversation where she admits this. Go to Radio Shack and ask them for a “divorce kit for your phone” they’ll know what you’re talking about).
You need to remember that your daughter’s safety is the real issue here, not whether mom gets visitation. But, you need to start aquiring proof that there is a dangerous environment present, and proof that mom has not fulfilled her terms of the agreement.
Try to avoid getting family services involved, with their track record, they’ll probably just endanger your custody order.


Thanks for the ideas. My wife and I are getting started on recording and documenting the ex wife’s admissions right now. We have been keeping a detailed journal of visits and almost every relevant conversation we have with my ex, hopefully that will help in court. I do not feel safe in any way with my daughter being unsupervised with her mother. She is completely irresponsible and has a long history of making bad decisions in regards to our daughter. My wife is concerned that if we go back to court, a judge will see a clean drug test and think that she is trying to better herself, but it’s all an act. She may be off meth right now, because she’s pregnant (by her boyfriend) but that does not excuse the way she neglected our daughter. She needs to be held accountable for her mistakes.
Again thanks for the response!


Along with all that hawkman posted keep this in mind. The situation that your ex is living in is not considered a substantial change to show cause for modifying the custody arrangement that was agreed upon 8 months ago. If he boyfriend is refusing to be tested then more than likely he is using. If he is using, then more than likely she either will start again or already has. You can’t recover from addiction if you are still around the stuff. In my opinion it does not sound like she would be able to show enough reason to modify the agreement or have an attorney modify it unless she complies with the criteria of the agreement. I would suggest to you to gather as much information as you can and talk with your attorney about getting court ordered custody.
I believe that everyone deserves a second chance to right what is wrong, but I also believe that you should protect yourself and your children with everything you have.
“Trust in God, but lock your car doors”


Dear amoore:

Greetings. Tell her to go back to court and just counterclaim her for breach of contract and attorney fees. I doubt she will go, since her money goes for meth. Stop listening to her until she follows through on the agreement. Thank you.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

301 McCullough Drive Suite 510
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


I really appreciate the responses. I will update as soon as I get any results!!


In January of 2006, I received primary custody of my 6 yr old daughter. My ex wife has been addicted to meth for 2 yrs. She was required to take a drug test which she failed, for methamphetamine and MDMA. Rather than having these records become public, we settled out of court. Both of our attorneys were present. In this agreement, she stated that she would obtain 2 negative drug tests, her boyfriend which she lives with must submit a negative test, and I must inspect their home. In exchange, I dropped check fraud charges that I had pending against her and she could visit our daughter 1 day a week for 2 hours a day. After 6 months, if all of these criteria are met, she is to be allowed unsupervised vistitation on every other weekend This was not ordered by a judge, but it was signed and filed through the court. She has since only submitted 1 clean test and is now telling me that her boyfriend is refusing a test and he is physically abusive. Yet she still believes she should receive her unsupervised visitation. She is now threatening to go back to court to modify this agreement. What was the point of me dropping those charges if she could go back to court at any time and get what she wanted in the first place? Or will she be held to that agreement by a judge?
Thank you for your time and responses!

Ashley Moore