My husband has lived and worked in another country for the past 8 years. He visits me for short periods and I have visited him (usually but not always in the context of our adult children visiting). We co-own the house I live in, and he rents an apartment in his country. We have also taken some vacations together. For many years we have not had sexual relations and have not shared a bedroom. However we do present ourselves as married.
We are discussing an amicable separation/divorce and signing a separation agreement where we would declare our intent to separate. Can we continue the current visiting arrangements during the separation year, and maybe take a vacation with the adult children, without invalidating it?
In order to be considered separated in NC, you must have lived in a separate residence continuously for at least one year. Depending on how long he has resided back in your home while visiting, the one year separation period could have started over on the day that he last left your residence, especially if you have the appearance to the public of having resumed or continued the marital relationship (sharing a residence, sharing in the duties of a household, sharing in expenses, etc.).
It would be best not to share residences anymore so there is no risk of interfering with the one-year separation period for absolute divorce purposes. Vacations with your adult children will not matter assuming you and your husband are not sharing a hotel room.
Anna Ayscue
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest
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